Merrick Walter grew up surfing and skating in Los Angeles, swam breaststroke in college, studied Russian, got recruited by the CIA (and said no), earned an MBA from Thunderbird and built a career in international education across multiple countries and continents. He was the kind of person who showed up to places, learned the language and found the Georgian restaurant nobody else knew about.
In the spring of 2015, everything changed. Within nine months, Merrick was diagnosed with a blood disorder, a bicuspid aortic valve, an aortic aneurysm and neuroendocrine cancer. He has had more than a dozen surgeries since, including three open heart surgeries. He almost bled out on the table. He carries a hospital bag in his backpack because sometimes he goes to the doctor and doesn’t come home.
In this conversation, Merrick talks about what chronic illness actually looks like from the inside: the dark nights, the projects he couldn’t finish, the disability system he couldn’t access, the 700-square-foot apartment he sometimes doesn’t leave for weeks, and why “you look great” is the worst thing you can say to someone who is fighting to get out of bed. He also talks about what keeps him going: his partner Mark, his doctors, the tulips from the greenmarket and the decision to take hold of the steering wheel again.
His toast: to people living with chronic illness and to the friends, family and medical providers who keep us going.
Executive Producer: Sara Glassman
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