{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"","title":"EP 28: \"Not See TV ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ“บ๐Ÿ’€\"","thumbnail_width":200,"thumbnail_height":200,"thumbnail_url":"https://open-images.acast.com/shows/69adf0a47036d7390296efde/1790466395758-6d9bb666-5cde-41c4-93a7-b05c58460155.jpeg?height=200","description":"

This week on Iโ€™ll TellYa Dis, itโ€™s Erik Marinoโ€™s BIRTHDAY!!! ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅณ And nothing says "Happy Birthday" more than the United Nations shutting down half of Manhattan and turning Christy Millerโ€™s commute home into The Amazing Race: Fuck Your Diplomatic Traffic Jam Edition. ๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿšง๐Ÿ’€

After walking FIVE FUCKING MILES just to get home, Christy did what any rational New Yorker would do during UN Week: cussed out a Secret Service agent, two cops and three innocent bystanders. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿซก Welcome to NY! Now GTFOH!


Meanwhile, Susan Sarandon and Hannah Einbinder got arrested protesting outside the UN, world leaders walked out on "a certain someone's" speech ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป, and Midtown Manhattan became one giant geopolitical clusterfuck โ€” proving once again that the United Nations may not be able to unite the nations, but they CAN unite New Yorkers in wanting everybody to GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR WAY. ๐Ÿ—ฝ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿผ


In other news, a DIFFERENT "certain someone" has launched his own YouTube channel because he doesn't like the Press reporting what he is ACTUALLY DOING... so now, WELCOME TO TRUMP TV! ๐Ÿ“บ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ It's so pathetic he's turned his Press Pool into a podcast studio ๐Ÿง๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ... HE'S A YOUTUBER NOW.

Welcome to NOT SEE TV ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ“บ โ€” where the press and public can NOT SEE shit ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ... the presidency has officially entered its โ€œLIKE, SUBSCRIBE AND DESTROY THAT NOTIFICATION BELLโ€ era. ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ’€


I swear we are doomed.


Meanwhile, Sydney Sweeney is butt ass NAKED in Times Square selling sports betting ๐ŸŽฐ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘€ and everybody is arguing about whether women should be offended... WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Girl, show your ๐Ÿฑ in Times Square if you want โ€” make that money. ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

Erik's problem is with the SPORTS BETTING APP itself... because his grandfather was a bookie and APPS ARE TAKING JOBS AWAY FROM HARDWORKING AMERICAN BOOKIES. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ


FUCK BIG TECH!!! SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESS!! SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BOOKIE. Keep that gambling money where it belongs: IN THE FAMILY. ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น


Someone needs to get whacked... but how the fuck do you put a hit out on an app? ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’€


Former NFL player Matt Kalil tried to stop his ex-wife from publicly discussing the size of his ๐Ÿ† during their divorce โ€” only for a JUDGE to basically rule, NOPE, THE DICK IS RELEVANT. โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿˆ

So now the entire country is involved in this man's penis because apparently WHAT HAPPENS IN THE HUDDLE DOES NOT STAY IN THE HUDDLE. ๐Ÿ’€


And finally, itโ€™s FAT BEAR WEEK ๐Ÿป โ€” the one week a year when Alaska celebrates enormous bears while Palm Springs is like, โ€œ...one week?โ€ ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜‚


Roseanne is STILL fighting with her TV son over a racist Ambien tweet from NINE YEARS AGO ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ, and the FBI is warning ICE agents about fake โ€œtrad wivesโ€ online trying to lure them in and dox them... even government surveillance can't beat the CATFISH era. ๐Ÿฑ๐ŸŽฃ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ


At this point, we have no idea who's watching who, who's sleeping with who, or whose ๐Ÿ† is legally relevant.


See you next Monday. ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ”ฅ


Follow on Instagram:


https://www.instagram.com/christymillercomedy/

https://www.instagram.com/theerikmarino/

https://www.instagram.com/illtellyadispodcast/


Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rNgwBP08Hrw

","author_name":"Christy Miller"}