{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/69adf0a47036d7390296efde/6a9dd4ccffe0e274910fcaa1?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"EP 25: \"LAW & ORDER- Special Teams Unit 🚔🏈\"","thumbnail_width":200,"thumbnail_height":200,"thumbnail_url":"https://open-images.acast.com/shows/69adf0a47036d7390296efde/1788728737119-c7d4eca3-f7fa-4243-a158-681073b7b9d5.jpeg?height=200","description":"<p>This week on <strong><em>I’ll TellYa Dis</em></strong>, Christy Miller and Erik Marino dig through another garbage week in America — <strong>LITERALLY</strong> — after a San Francisco garbage truck accidentally picked up an ENTIRE HUMAN 🗑️😳… because apparently even Waste Management is like, <strong>“fuck it, throw the whole man away.”</strong> 🤷🏻‍♀️</p><p>And speaking of trash, the NFL is back!!! 🏈🎉 Which means it’s time for <strong>LAW &amp; ORDER: SPECIAL TEAMS UNIT</strong> 🚔 — Mark “Drunky Brewster” Sanchez conveniently forgot he “butt fumbled” a 69-year-old truck driver and got STABBED 🔪🥴, while Tony “Tipsy Russell” Romo got an ignition lock after an OWI. (How many acronyms do we need for drunk driving? 😵‍💫🚗) At this point, there’s enough criminal activity for the NFL to just change <strong>ITS</strong> acronym to <strong>DUI</strong>. 🥴🚗🤷🏻‍♀️</p><p><br></p><p>Meanwhile, Christy kicks off the season exactly where she left off — longing for Robert Saleh and apparently willing to become his <strong>road-game side piece</strong>. 🏈🍆🫡</p><p>But nobody does drunk sports quite like the late, great Shirley Miller 🍷⛳️, who used to replace the useless clubs in her golf bag with <strong>BOTTLES OF WINE</strong>… until she was eventually banned from the golf course for drunkenly driving her cart <strong>INTO A FUCKING LAKE.</strong> 🚗💦</p><p><br></p><p>🗣️ <strong>THIS IS CHRISTY’S BLOODLINE, PEOPLE.</strong></p><p><br></p><p>Meanwhile, the Pentagon apparently wants the <strong>Hawk Tuah girl</strong> for its influencer army 🤦🏻‍♀️🇺🇸 — because when you think <em>national security</em>, you obviously think <strong>“spit on that thang”</strong> — Trump is selling wooden nickels 💰🗑️… oops! We mean <strong>Trump Dollars</strong>… and Dolly Parton finally gets the <strong>9 to 5</strong> recognition she deserves 💖, while the internet collectively reminds Ricky Schroder that disagreeing with Dolly Parton is basically a one-way ticket to <strong>HELL.</strong> 🔥</p><p>On the opposite side of the pond, England says <strong>HOLD MY TEA</strong> 🇬🇧🫖 and gives children the opportunity to relive one of history’s greatest maritime disasters… <strong>THE TITANIC RIDE</strong> 😵‍💫🌊🛳️ — which <strong>TILTS OVER AND DUMPS THEM OFF THE SINKING SHIP.</strong> 🚢🛝💀 And somehow THAT sends Christy and Erik into a full-blown 1997 grievance spiral over Old Rose hoarding a priceless diamond for decades instead of helping her family… only to chuck the motherfucker back into the ocean. 💎🌊</p><p><br></p><p><strong>🗣️ FUCK THAT OLD LADY. JUSTICE FOR HER GRANDCHILDREN. 💎🌹</strong></p><p><br></p><p>In otter news <em>(see what I did there?)</em>, a river otter in Lake Tahoe handed a woman <strong>39 STITCHES</strong> 🦦👊🏻… which makes one wonder: <strong>“WTF did she do to catch those otter hands?”</strong> 🙌🦦</p><p><br></p><p>So grab your Trump wooden nickels, hide your golf-cart keys from Shirley, keep your arms and legs inside the Titanic until it has completely sunk, and remember:</p><p><br></p><p><strong>DUN DUN.</strong> 🚔🏈</p><p>It’s <strong><em>LAW &amp; ORDER: SPECIAL TEAMS UNIT</em></strong>… and everybody’s fucking guilty.</p><p><strong>PERIODT! 💀💅🏻</strong></p><p><br></p><p>Follow on Instagram:</p><p><br></p><p>https://www.instagram.com/christymillercomedy/</p><p>https://www.instagram.com/theerikmarino/</p><p>https://www.instagram.com/illtellyadispodcast/</p><p><br></p><p>Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ohKazALgpq4</p>","author_name":"Christy Miller"}