This week on I’ll TellYa Dis, Christy Miller and Erik Marino are back at the Grisly Pear Comedy Club after a two-month hiatus from Midtown, just in time before Christy turns 56, putting a “pause” on the menopause and returning from Atlantic City smelling like a stale Pall Mall Gold after spending the weekend telling jokes in what can only be described as the ashtray of New Jersey. 🚬🎰🤮
But the real heartbreak this week is the loss of American treasure Dolly Parton 💔😭 — leaving Christy emotionally devastated, Nashville down one saint, and the American wig industry facing its worst year… which leaves the burden on Cher’s wallet.
WE MUST PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS. 🫡
Meanwhile, Dolly’s passing brought out tributes from all across the country… including Ted Cruz, who retweeted “LEGEND” on a Dolly post from an account that instantly changed its name to “Ted Cruz’s Tiny Dick” — FINALLY something I agree with Ted on… LEGEND! 🇺🇸🍆😂
In the FAFO portion of the news, ICE finally deported the right person… gay, right-wing troll Milo Yiannopoulos, who apparently overstayed his visa since 2019. 🛫👋🏻 I’m happy he got EXACTLY what he wanted… BYEEEE!!!!! I have one last thing to say to Milo…
🗣️ YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE!!! 🛫👋🏻
IIn other news, the San Francisco 49ers have decided to kick off the NFL season with a new offensive formation called SEX, SCAMS & SIDE PIECES. 🏈🍆💰
First, billionaire 49ers owner Jed York got busted in an Ohio trailer park allegedly looking for a $160 Hummer — because nothing says RECESSION INDICATOR like an NFL billionaire buying a Dollar Tree blowjob. 😭 To make matters worse for the NFL franchise, there’s the fake 49ers “wide receiver” scamming women online while filming himself in his sad 900-square-foot Sacramento apartment, surrounded by bags of fake shit while wearing a football helmet. 🏈🤡 I CAN’T!!! 🤦🏻♀️
Meanwhile, former 49ers defensive coordinator Robert Saleh abandoned ship to coach the Tennessee Titans… which means Christy has finally found her calling in life: moving to Nashville, living in Dolly Parton’s wig room and becoming Robert Saleh’s side piece.
It’s what Dolly would’ve wanted. 🫡🇺🇸
And finally, this week’s BAD IDEAS department was working OVERTIME 🤦🏻♀️ — a Roomba caught a cheating wife and somehow sent her husband to jail, Good Good Golf thought SHOVING A WOMAN TO THE GROUND would make a great commercial ⛳️😳, and Target decided ending DEI last year wasn’t enough to bury themselves… they doubled down and released a MINSTREL Halloween costume 😒🚩 You know, for the children. 🤦🏻♀️🎃
In other weird news, a Virginia doctor woke up with a BAT trying to crawl into her mouth 🦇😮, there was a four-hour manhunt in Indiana for a lion that may or may not even exist 🦁, and 120 containers of cheese balls spilled across the 105 freeway in L.A. — it’s nice to see snacks are offered while sitting in traffic. 🧀🚗💨
Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Navy Yard has a rave problem, Christy is headed to Tennessee in Dolly Parton’s wig to blow Robert Saleh, and honestly…
IT’S WHAT DOLLY WOULD’VE WANTED. 🫡🇺🇸
See you next week, fuckers. 🫶🏻
Follow on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/christymillercomedy/
https://www.instagram.com/theerikmarino/
https://www.instagram.com/illtellyadispodcast/
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vjHAeufslnQ
","author_name":"Christy Miller"}