What if the part of you that you keep trying to change is actually the part of you that most needs to be understood?
You can know your patterns, understand where they came from and have plenty of self-awareness, yet still find yourself repeating the same cycles. Because insight is only one part of the story. Sometimes, the deeper work is learning to listen to what lives beneath the pattern.
This week, I’m joined by therapist and spiritual guide Laurie Nouchka, for a conversation about the parts of ourselves we often try to fix, silence or move beyond, and what becomes possible when we meet them with curiosity instead.
Laurie shares how a painful breakup at 25 shaped her relationships for years, the unexpected path that took her from life drawing and yoga to Internal Family Systems therapy, and what she’s learnt about distinguishing intuition from fear. We talk about the wisdom held in the body, the ways our nervous system can keep us living from old stories, and what it really means to trust ourselves again.
It’s a conversation about going beneath the surface, meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve spent years trying to outrun, and creating enough space to hear what they’ve been trying to tell us. Because we can’t think our way out of what we haven’t yet allowed ourselves to feel.
Episode chapters:
01:13 Meet Laurie and Her Daily Rituals
09:12 The Photo: Smiling Through a Painful Breakup
14:07 Fear of Being Alone and the “I’m Not Enough” Story
19:09 From Life Drawing in Melbourne to Yoga
24:58 Discovering Internal Family Systems
27:32 What IFS Is and How Our Parts Protect Us
33:38 Why We Run From Discomfort
38:04 Creating Safety in the Nervous System
42:49 Trusting Your Intuition Versus Fear
47:04 Nature as a Go-To Practice
49:32 A Celebration of Life and Death
55:10 Laurie’s Three Non-Negotiables
Connect with Laurie through the links below:
Instagram: @laurienoucka
Website: www.laurienouchka.com
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Upcoming Retreats
The Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out More
The Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out More
Courage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027
Email hello@ashbutterss.com for more information
A Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027
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Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!
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