Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Oona Metz, a therapist with 30 years of clinical experience and a leading expert in helping women navigate divorce. For the past 15 years, Oona has specialized in supporting women through the realities of divorce. She is the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women.
Dr. Metz frames divorce not as a failure, but as a profound life transition—one that often reshapes identity, relationships, and sobriety. They'll explore questions many women quietly carry: What actually happens emotionally during divorce? Why does it feel so disorienting—even when you’re the one who initiated it? How do grief, anger, relief, fear, and hope coexist at the same time? And why can divorce feel so lonely even when you’re surrounded by support? They talk about the deeper layers of healing, touching on community, shame, self-trust, boundaries, and the ways alcohol can quietly become a coping mechanism during this chapter.
You'll will walk away with practical takeaways about the divorce process from a mental health perspective, including how divorce impacts the nervous system, why women often internalize blame, and how group support can accelerate healing. Dr. Metz explains the psychological stages of divorce, common emotional patterns women experience, and why validation, regulation, and connection are essential tools for recovery. The conversation also weaves in themes of sobriety, emotional regulation, self-worth, and rebuilding identity after major life upheaval.
Sonia and Kathleen reflect on how divorce can surface old coping strategies, challenge existing support systems, and force radical honesty with oneself.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.
Episode Highlights
00:01 – Why divorce is more than a legal process—it’s an identity shift
03:12 – Oona’s 30-year clinical journey and why she focused on divorce work
06:45 – The emotional stages women experience during divorce
09:30 – Why divorce grief is often misunderstood and minimized
12:18 – How shame and self-blame show up for women
15:02 – The role of community and group support in healing
18:40 – Why divorce can trigger or intensify unhealthy coping behaviors
21:55 – Divorce, loneliness, and the myth of “strong women should handle it alone”
25:10 – How alcohol can quietly become emotional anesthesia during transitions
28:34 – Nervous system regulation during high-conflict or prolonged divorce
31:50 – What healing actually looks like in the first year post-divorce
35:15 – Letting go of the story you thought your life would follow
38:42 – Rebuilding self-trust after major relational loss
41:20 – Why validation matters more than advice in early healing
44:05 – Dating, boundaries, and identity after divorce
47:30 – How group work accelerates recovery and reduces isolation
50:18 – What Oona wishes every woman knew before starting divorce
53:00 – Turning divorce into a catalyst for clarity and growth
56:10 – Choosing sobriety as an act of self-protection and self-respect
59:00 – Final reflections on grief, freedom, and rebuilding a life on your terms
Dr. Metz's Links
https://www.instagram.com/oonametz/
https://www.oonametz.com/book-unhitched
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
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