This is part two of Wendy’s conversation with Lou Lasprugato, licensed psychotherapist, internationally recognised ACT trainer and ACBS Fellow. If you haven’t listened to part one yet, it covers the foundations of ACT and the hexaflex model, and is well worth starting there.
Part two gets practical. Lou opens with one of the most common experiences that brings people to therapy: feeling stuck. Not stuck in one dramatic way, but in the quieter, more persistent sense of repeating the same patterns, being unable to move forward, or living in a way that feels smaller than it should. From an ACT perspective, two processes sit at the root of most stuck loops: cognitive fusion, where we are so entangled with our thoughts that we cannot see them as thoughts, and experiential avoidance, where we repeatedly reach for relief from discomfort in ways that end up restricting our lives rather than expanding them.
Lou explains how negative reinforcement works and why avoidance strategies tend to grow rather than shrink over time, using opiate addiction as a clear and sobering example of where that trajectory can lead. He then walks through how ACT helps people build willingness gradually, always in the service of something that matters to them.
The couples work section introduces a concept not covered in part one: yearnings. Distinct from values, yearnings are the deep enduring longings we carry into our closest relationships, for connection, partnership, validation, shared meaning and security. Helping partners recognise and meet each other’s yearnings, Lou explains, is some of the most meaningful work he does.
The episode closes with two perspective-taking exercises that are simple, memorable and immediately usable. One asks what you would want someone to say about you at your 100th birthday. The other asks what one small but meaningful thing you would want to have done by the time your head hits the pillow tonight. Both are grounded in the same ACT insight: values are not just a direction to aim for, they are a daily source of motivation, and regret, rather than being something to avoid, can point us clearly towards what still matters.
Free guided ACT meditations, including Lou’s hexaflex exercises of one to two minutes each, are available on YouTube and Insight Timer without a premium subscription:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/c/LouLasprugato
👉 https://insighttimer.com/loulasprugato
Further resources, blogs and training information at:
Training and consultation information via the ACBS website:
👉 https://contextualscience.org/lou_lasprugatos_training_page
To learn more about Wendy’s work, explore resources, or stay up to date with future episodes, visit:
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