You can love your kids and still not love everything that comes with being a mom. Both things can be true at once, and learning to hold them together is a simple reframe that can take some of the weight off.
On The ManFlu, host Lucy McAfee talks with Dr. Rachel Goldman, a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, author of When Life Happens, and mom of two. Her work is rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and she brings it into the moments moms know best. The third time a kid yells “mommy” from upstairs. The “should” statements that pile on mom guilt when a plan falls through. The question she quietly asks clients who tell her they should go to the gym.
Dr. Rachel is candid about the mental load at home and why partners need to hear what we need, because nobody is a mind reader. Yes, even when it comes to asking someone to empty the dishwasher. She also explains why confidence grows from action you take before you feel ready and what kept her from burning out during a book launch full of travel. Lucy shares the low-stakes first step Dr. Rachel encouraged her to take at a book club when she felt stuck about launching this show.
If you’ve ever felt yourself about to lose it when everything hits at once, stay for her one small shift. Press play for simple tools that ease mom burnout and give you room to pause before you react.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Welcome And Meeting Dr. Rachel Goldman
02:09 From Dance Science To Studying Psychology
06:41 The Power Of And For Overwhelmed Moms
09:49 Pausing Before You Yell At Your Kids
12:41 Who Says You Should? Reframing Should Statements
17:10 Why Partners Need To Hear What We Need
25:24 What Our Kids Learn From Watching Us
29:48 Taking Action Before You Feel Ready
36:52 Getting Back To Basics To Prevent Burnout
42:25 The One Small Shift: Pause And Check In
Connect with Dr. Rachel Goldman:
Learn more about When Life Happens by Dr. Rachel Goldman
Get your copy of When Life Happens
Follow Dr. Rachel on Instagram
Connect with Dr. Rachel on LinkedIn
Connect with Lucy McAfee:
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