There's a specific grief a lot of boy moms feel but isn't often said out loud. It's one Sarah Koopmann and Lucy McAfee both know well, and after years of Lucy turning to Sarah for boy-mom wisdom, there was no question she'd be the very first guest.
On this episode of The ManFlu, the two best friends of 30 years sit down for a conversation about raising emotionally connected boys. Sarah is a full-time working mom to sons ages 16, 14, and 12, and an HR executive at a global aerospace company. She opens up about grieving the daughter she thought she'd have, and how it shaped the intentional way she parents her sons today.
The conversation turns to the mental load in marriage. Sarah orders the groceries, builds the shared calendar, and keeps a Sunday whiteboard with the week's schedule; her husband cooks, coaches, covers carpool and genuinely enjoys vacuuming. Lucy and Sarah unpack why so many men still tie their worth to an outdated definition of \"provider,\" and how invisible labor shows up in a modern partnership at home.
They also talk about the village every mom needs. Sarah intentionally lives in the community where she grew up, leans on neighbors for rides, and recently had a mom assemble a craft kit for her son without being asked. Her advice for anyone missing a village: go first, and be the one who asks.
They also get into the everyday work of raising respectful sons: how Sarah talks to her boys about empathy, showing up for their friends, and even dating etiquette as they get older.
The episode closes with Sarah's daily ritual for raising emotionally connected boys: hug them before school, hug them before bed, and don't let go first.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Meet Sarah: Boy Mom, Working Mom, Best Friend Of 30 Years
02:19 Finding Out It's (Another) Boy
05:28 The Grief No One Talks About
08:23 The Fear Underneath, And A Reframe
12:28 Boys Feel It Too (They Just Show It Differently)
17:40 Balancing A Big Career With Raising Boys
20:09 Building Your Village (And Learning To Ask)
27:37 The Systems Behind A Busy Household
30:59 The Mental Load, Out Loud
34:17 What \"Provider\" Really Means
37:10 Raising Boys Who Treat People Well
39:00 One Small Shift For Overwhelmed Moms
41:22 Hug Them, And Don't Let Go First
Connect with Sarah Koopmann:
Connect with Sarah on LinkedIn
Connect with Lucy McAfee:
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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