{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/68f03d18c0456d557e9af496/69d8bcb900eb02bda1f7f3bd?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"Overfunctioning in Relationships: Stop Fixing and Start Coaching","description":"<p>After a busy March, Tolu is back! In this quick life update, she talks about the chaos of the \"fire horse\" year that is 2026, the growth of her therapy practice, and leaning into delegating by hiring an operations and marketing coordinator.</p><p>The main focus of this episode is inspired by a TikTok video Tolu made that went viral (over 500k views!). The topic? Overfunctioning in relationships. Tolu explains why this pattern happens, how it leads to resentment and burnout, and gives actionable tips on how to pull back, stop fixing, and let others rise to the occasion.</p><p><br></p><p>To submit your anonymous questions, please click <a href=\"https://forms.gle/VKjS3NHRvQEZjCDy7\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">this link</a>.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Timestamps</strong></p><ul><li><strong>00:00</strong> – Intro: \"Your girl disappeared for March!\" Catching up and getting back on the recording schedule.</li><li><strong>02:15</strong> – <strong>Life Update:</strong> Expanding <em>Ashay Therapy Services</em>, hiring a coordinator, and practicing delegation (even when it’s scary).</li><li><strong>07:27</strong> – <strong>The Dilemma:</strong> \"I make plans with friends, romanticize them, and then want to cancel right before. Why does this happen?\"</li><li><strong>10:01</strong> – <strong>Advice:</strong> Taking the opposite action and normalizing the urge to cancel (especially on Fridays after a long week) and how to navigate the discomfort of going anyway.</li><li><strong>11:02</strong> – <strong>Main Topic:</strong> Overfunctioning in relationships. Inspired by the viral TikTok: <em>\"Be willing to sit with the discomfort of letting other people be responsible for themselves.\"</em></li><li><strong>13:13</strong> – How overfunctioning shows up: Being the default planner, the problem solver, or the person everyone relies on when things go wrong.</li><li><strong>15:30</strong> – The consequences: Anxiety, emotional burnout, and resentment (\"Why am I the only one doing this?\").</li><li><strong>16:30</strong> – The \"Superwoman\" Syndrome: The exhausting pressure to prove your worth by always being capable.</li><li><strong>20:24</strong> – <strong>Practical Tips:</strong></li><li><strong>1. Shift from Fixer to Coach:</strong> When people come to you with a problem, don't solve it. Ask, <em>\"What would you want to do about this?\"</em> or <em>\"Do you want me to listen or give advice?\"</em></li><li><strong>2. Sit with the Silence:</strong> Resist the urge to jump in and fill the silence or immediately offer to take on a task.</li><li><strong>3. Let the Ball Drop:</strong> Allow people to fail or make mistakes so they can learn.</li><li><strong>4. </strong>Experimenting with stepping back: Let someone else plan the next outing and see what happens.</li><li><strong>The Challenge</strong>: This week, try doing a <em>little less</em>. See what feelings come up when you aren't fixing everything.</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources &amp; Mentions</strong></p><ul><li><strong>Ashay Therapy Services:</strong> Tolu’s group practice. <a href=\"https://ashaytherapy.janeapp.com/locations/ashay-therapy/book#/free-20-minute-consultation\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Click</a> to book a free 20-minute consultation (for Canadian residents).</li></ul><p><br></p><ul><li><strong>Click </strong><a href=\"https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVY27sElK3n/?igsh=ZHBic3JweXhnd3g1\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>here</strong></a><strong> to watch the video on Instagram. </strong></li></ul>","author_name":"Tolu Adepoju"}