What happens when love, lies and betrayal collide? In this episode, Bradford Oakes and Steve Van Aperen explore the messy world of cheating, emotional affairs, secret finances, online flirting and the stories people tell when they are caught.
Before getting into the serious stuff, Bradford reflects on teaching an MC training course and explains why an event without a host can quickly fall apart. That sparks two workplace confessions: Steve recalls causing a traffic accident while distracted by models during his days directing Melbourne traffic, while Bradford shares an unfortunate encounter with a runaway floor-polishing machine outside a nurses’ cafeteria.
Then the conversation turns to deception in relationships. Drawing on his work conducting polygraph and eye-detection tests, Steve shares real cases involving affairs, gambling, drinking, escort agencies, suspicious messages and an uncomfortable love triangle. He explains why one lie often creates several more, how people reveal only what their partner can already prove, and why “trickle truth” can be more damaging than the original betrayal.
Bradford and Steve debate whether flirting online counts as cheating, whether checking a partner’s phone is ever justified, and whether someone can love you while repeatedly lying to you. They also examine emotional cheating, financial secrecy and the difference between harmless social lies and deliberate deception designed to conceal damaging behaviour.
Along the way, Steve identifies familiar warning signs: deflection instead of a direct denial, gaslighting, changing timelines, contradictions, secret calls, hidden messages and turning the accusation back on the person asking questions. But appearances can also be misleading, as one case involving an accused businessman and a vindictive personal assistant demonstrates.
There are stories of a cheating golfer in Thailand, an Ashley Madison discovery, incriminating photos appearing during family dinner, a burglar who dropped his wallet at the crime scene, a comedian short-changed on tour, and a serial cheater whose guilt revealed itself through gifts of jewellery.
It is a funny, frank and sobering discussion about trust, motive, privacy and the consequences of believing you will never be caught. Bradford Oakes and Steve Van Aperen bring humour, policing experience and behavioural insight to one of the most complicated subjects in any relationship.
Have you caught a partner cheating, spotted a red flag or heard an unforgettable excuse? Share your story in the comments below.
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