{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/68d14c47b8df1e3eddbb9056/6967cb87a3b74ba76bbfb15a?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"The Cat is Trying to Kill Me (and Other Domestic Hazards)","description":"<p>Reality is a construct of perception. <strong>Carl</strong> is a construct of coffee and bad life choices. Here they meet in <strong>Carl versus Reality</strong>.</p><p>Salutations! Today, you’ve caught me mid-chore. I’m doing the washing up, so if you’ve got a pile of crusty plates staring you down, grab the Fairy Liquid and we’ll do 'em together. A job shared is a job halved, or so they say. Probably someone who didn't have a cat trying to trip them up on the stairs.</p><p>Speaking of which, we need to talk about <strong>Biscuit</strong>. He’s my cat, and I’m 90% sure he’s an assassin. Between the \"staircase trip-wire\" manoeuvres and the 4:00 AM throat-kneading, I’m living in a domestic thriller. I thought it was affection; turns out it might just be a slow-motion coup.</p><p>I also get into the absolute state of my workplace because I dared to wear <strong>glasses</strong> and—heaven forbid—<strong>blue jeans</strong>. Turns out, if you change one minor detail about your appearance after twenty years, people lose their minds. It’s been a week of \"Oh, new glasses?\" and \"Where are your black jeans, Carl?\" Honestly, it’s a lot to take in when you’re just trying to get through the day without being choked out by a feline.</p><p><strong>In this episode:</strong></p><ul><li><strong>Chore-core:</strong> Doing the dishes together for moral support.</li><li><strong>Feline Assassins:</strong> Why Biscuit is the Wiley Coyote to my Roadrunner.</li><li><strong>The Great Spectacle Debate:</strong> Transitioning from <strong>contact lenses</strong> back to frames.</li><li><strong>Wardrobe Malfunctions:</strong> The social consequences of wearing blue denim.</li></ul><p>If you want to support the madness, get among it at <a href=\"http://carlvsreality.com\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>carlvsreality.com</strong></a>. All the links for TikTok, YouTube, and the rest are there.</p><p>Take care of yourselves. And watch your step on the stairs.</p><p>Ta-ta.</p>","author_name":"Carl Guyton"}