So… welcome to 2026.
We are one week in and somehow already in what feels like a geopolitical thriller.
Like — this is not “New Year, New Me.”
This is “New Year, New Cold War.”
I’ll get to that. But first: Christmas was actually lovely. I had a great holiday, I hope you did too — although the contrast between “quiet Nordic winter” and “the world actively on fire” is… jarring.
On New Year’s Eve we literally had to save a 20-year-old girl who got too drunk, lost her phone, and ended up alone in the mountains in Norway. Which sounds like a Netflix true-crime series, but luckily it wasn’t. We found her, she was fine, and we did a good deed. So that felt nice.
Meanwhile the rest of the world?
Unwell.
It genuinely feels like we’re on the brink of war over… Greenland.
Which is wild, because the main export of Greenland is ice and vibes.
I’m very grateful Denmark has Lego — because at this point our only defense strategy is to build a wall around Greenland out of tiny plastic bricks and hope everyone respects it.
And if that fails, we’ll just ask Iceland to erupt a volcano.
Because nothing says “sovereignty” like grounding all flights for six months.
Good luck invading when the sky is just… ash.
I mean, let’s see how far anyone gets when their luxury jet can’t even land because there’s literal magma in the air.
Anyway.
Other than the impending doom, this episode is actually quite cozy.
I talk about the year ahead and what I want from it — and my main political wish is very simple:
I want politics to be boring again.
I want our leaders to be invisible.
That’s how you know they’re doing a good job.
If I recognize your face, something has gone wrong.
I also talk about my love language, which I think is… logistics.
I’m not romantic. I don’t do grand gestures. I’ll never write you a poem — but I will make sure your passport is valid and your dentist appointment is booked.
That’s love. That’s Nordic romance.
So maybe I’m not cold — maybe I’m just Nordic?
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode.
Please share it, rate it, write a review — all that algorithmic witchcraft really helps.
I’m on tour, I hope I see you in a city where you live, and the full tour list is on my website: www.pernillehaaland.com
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