Deciding to have a mastectomy and being emotionally ready to lose your breasts are two very different things.
In Episode 3 of BRCA & Beyond’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month series, Marisa explores the grief that can come before and after a mastectomy, whether surgery follows a breast cancer diagnosis or is chosen preventively because of hereditary cancer risk.
Breasts can be connected to motherhood, breastfeeding, femininity, sexuality, sensation, body image, intimacy, and simply recognizing your own body. Losing them can bring complicated emotions, even when you know the surgery is right for you.
Marisa shares her experience preparing for a preventive double mastectomy, including the guilt she felt grieving healthy breasts, the unexpected “lasts” before surgery, and the night she stood in the shower realizing her body would never look or feel exactly the same again.
The episode also explores disenfranchised grief, when a loss does not feel like something you are allowed to mourn. For survivors, that can sound like, “This surgery is saving my life, so how can I be sad?” For previvors, it can be, “I do not even have cancer, so what right do I have to grieve?”
You can be grateful for surgery and still grieve what it costs you. You can want a mastectomy and still mourn your breasts. And that grief may come before surgery, immediately afterward, or much later.
Whether you are preparing for a mastectomy after breast cancer, considering preventive mastectomy because of hereditary cancer risk, or recovering from breast surgery, this conversation makes space for a part of the experience that can be difficult to explain.
National Cancer Institute: Surgery to Reduce the Risk of Breast Cancer
https://www.cancer.gov/types/breast/causes-risk-factors/prevention/preventive-breast-surgery
National Cancer Institute: Mastectomy
https://www.cancer.gov/types/breast/treatment/surgery/mastectomy
National Cancer Institute: Self Image, Sexuality and Cancer
https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/self-image
American Cancer Society: Mastectomy for Breast Cancer
BRCA & Beyond shares personal experiences and educational information and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
","author_name":"Marisa Stachelski, Cancer Survivor & BRCA2 Previvor"}