You can't fix what you can't see. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner walks you through the Mental Load Audit — the step-by-step tool at the heart of her book Drained that helps you figure out exactly where your mental energy is going, who's getting it, and whether it's actually aligned with your goals and dreams. This isn't about changing the world or adding more to your plate. It's about getting ruthlessly clear on your spend, dropping what doesn't deserve your energy, and finally starting to work toward what actually matters to you.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction — Drained is out in the world!
02:17 Why telling overwhelmed people to \"change the world\" is unfair
03:30 What the mental load actually is — a quick refresher
04:33 The three characteristics: invisible, boundaryless, enduring
05:00 Step 1 of the Mental Load Audit — are you in burnout?
05:45 Step 2 — where is your mental load energy going across the 8 types?
06:55 Credits vs. debits — which parts of your mental load fill you up vs. drain you?
07:30 Who is getting your energy — and do they deserve it?
08:30 People pleasing as a mental load drain
09:12 Who goes on the bench — and who gets evicted
09:45 Step 3 — get clear on your dreams, goals and ambitions
10:30 Mental load loves, mental load drops, and mental load mores
11:33 Real example: does a messy house actually matter?
13:57 Understanding your partner's mental load through the lens of their dreams
16:20 You can do this audit alone — you don't need your partner's buy-in
17:30 How to start the conversation from the dream, not the fight
18:19 It's all in the book — worksheets, chapters, and the online appendix
Resources Mentioned:
📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More
🧠 Free Mental Load Assessment — https://www.lightenlab.com
Stay Connected with Leah:
TikTok: @prof.leahruppanner
Email: getcrafty@audiocrafty.com
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