In this episode of Yes to I Do, host Lydia Wakefield is joined once again by the coordination team at Coton House Farm to tackle one of the very first - and often most emotionally charged - wedding planning decisions: who to invite.
Recorded outside on the barbecue patio area (where guests can enjoy pre-ceremony drinks and evening food), the team dive into the realities of guest list politics. From venue capacities and budget restrictions to colleagues, children and plus ones.
With real-life stories, practical advice and plenty of laughter, this episode reminds couples that while guest lists can feel like a battle in your brain, your wedding day should reflect your priorities - not other people’s expectations.
Key Takeaways
Start with your numbers.
Your guest list impacts everything - venue choice, catering costs, décor, drinks and overall budget. You can’t make major decisions without at least a rough idea of guest numbers.
Venue and budget restrictions matter.
Some venues have minimums and maximums, and every additional 10 guests can significantly increase costs once you factor in food, drinks and styling.
Don’t invite out of obligation.
Whether it’s colleagues, distant relatives or your boss, don’t feel pressured. If you wouldn’t go for coffee with them, reconsider whether they need a daytime invite.
Day vs evening guests is completely normal.
Evening invitations are not a downgrade. Many guests are simply grateful to be included - especially with weekday weddings becoming more common.
Children at weddings are personal preference.
Child-free, close family children only, or everyone’s children - there is no universal rule. Think about the atmosphere you want and what feels authentic to you as a couple.
Be realistic about little ones in the bridal party.
Children under four can find the aisle overwhelming. If you include them, stay relaxed and flexible – sometimes the unplanned moments become the most memorable.
Plus ones require balance.
Long-term partners often feel like a natural inclusion, but budget plays a role. Consider whether the guest will know others and feel comfortable without a plus one.
Keep a reserve list.
If numbers are tight, have a backup list. Guests sometimes decline, and this gives you flexibility without stretching your budget from the start.
You have to be a little selfish.
It’s one of the first big decisions you make as a couple. Stand your ground and remember – it’s your day.
Key Moments
“If you added ten more people, that could genuinely cost you nearly a thousand pounds.”
“If you wouldn’t go for coffee with them, maybe rethink the daytime invite.”
“Don’t feel obligated to invite someone just because you’re related.”
“Sometimes it’s like a battle in your brain – who am I going to upset?”
“If someone is prepared to fall out with you over an invite, they probably shouldn’t have had one.”
“We just need to win the lottery and invite everyone.”
About Coton House Farm
Nestled in the Staffordshire countryside, Coton House Farm is an exclusive luxury wedding barn venue offering couples a relaxed yet refined setting for their big day. With beautifully restored barns, scenic outdoor ceremony spaces and a dedicated coordination team, the venue is designed to support couples from planning through to the final dance - helping navigate everything from guest lists to last-minute changes with calm, experience and care.
Connect with Coton House Farm
Website: https://www.cotonhousefarm.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cotonhousefarm/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cotonhousefarm
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Cotonhousefarmweddingvenue/
Pinterest: https://uk.pinterest.com/cotonhousefarm/
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