I interviewed Dr. Kayleigh Hale, a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist who specializes in neurodivergence, ADHD, and autism, particularly in girls and women. We explore autistic masking and ADHD masking—the ways neurodivergent people may hide or suppress parts of themselves to fit in, feel accepted, or stay safe. We talk about the signs of masking, why high-masking autism can contribute to late-diagnosed autism and ADHD in women, and how masking can become so automatic that we may not even realize we're doing it.
As a neurodivergent woman, this conversation was especially meaningful to me. We discuss masking vs. coping and social skills, neurodivergent burnout and exhaustion, neuropsychological testing, and how to begin unmasking safely. Ultimately, this is a conversation about neurodiversity, authenticity, and learning how to honor the way your mind naturally works.
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Dr. Kayleigh Hale is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist specializing in neurodivergence, including ADHD and autism, particularly in girls and women. She is the Director of Testing at Hope+Wellness, where she provides strength-based, neurodiversity-affirming neuropsychological evaluations designed to help individuals better understand their unique minds, needs, and strengths.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 What Does It Actually Mean to “Mask”?
02:00 Can Anyone Mask—or Is It a Sign of Autism?
03:00 The Hidden Cost of Masking
04:00 What If You Don’t Know You’re Masking?
06:00 Subtle Signs of Autistic Masking
08:00 Why Autism Can Look Different in Girls & Women
10:00 Why So Many Women With Autism Are Missed
13:00 Masking vs. Social Skills: What’s the Difference?
16:00 How Do You Know If You’re Masking?
18:00 How to Start Unmasking Safely
21:00 Can Testing Detect Autism You’ve Been Hiding?
25:00 Does Everyone Mask Sometimes?
26:00 Why Masking Can Be So Exhausting
28:00 How Culture Shapes the Way We Mask
31:00 Are Men Taught to Mask Their Emotions?
32:00 Ask Yourself: “What Am I Suppressing?”
34:00 What Happens When You Start Unmasking?
36:00 Do You Ever Need to Stop Masking Completely?
38:00 My Own Experience With Neurodivergent Masking
40:00 How to Make Someone Feel Safe Enough to Unmask
42:00 What Does a Neurodiversity-Affirming Space Look Like?
44:00 What Parents of Neurodivergent Kids Should Know
45:00 Why You Need to Find Your “Neuro Tribe”
46:00 What to Look for in an Autism or ADHD Evaluation
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EPISODE LINKS https://www.hope-wellness.com/-dr-kayleigh-hale
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Hi, I'm Dr. V! Welcome to INNERCALLING, where I host organic conversations at the intersection of mental health, science, spirituality, & wisdom.
Together with leading scientists, psychologists, authors, philosophers, and spiritual teachers, we explore consciousness, resilience, purpose, human flourishing, & the timeless questions that shape a meaningful life. As a clinical psychologist, I've seen that healing begins with curiosity and the courage to explore life's deepest questions.
My hope is these conversations help you reconnect with the inner light within you—the one no darkness can overcome.
Thank you so much for joining me!
Dr. Victoria Ranade
https://www.instagram.com/drvictoriaranade
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DISCLAIMER
The information shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Opinions expressed are those of the host and guest. Nothing in this episode should be construed as medical, psychological, legal, financial, or other professional advice.
Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional regarding your individual circumstances.
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#Autism #ADHD #Neurodivergent #AutisticMasking #UnmaskingAutism #AutismInWomen #ADHDInWomen #Neurodiversity
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