Are mixed-race women still being fetishized in dating — and what does it
mean to date with radical authenticity?
Gin Hammond gets real about blind matchmaking, the exhausting \"what are you?\" question, and why dating later in life hits completely different when you finally know who you are.
Whether you're mixed, multiracial, or just done shrinking yourself to
fit someone else's box — this one's for you.
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⏱️ CHAPTERS
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0:00 – Introduction: Gin is Living IncogNegro
0:22 – Dating in your 40s: searching for a kindred spirit
0:36 – How dating feels different when you've already built a life
1:04 – What it means to be fully yourself with a partner
1:49 – The blind matchmaking service with NO last names, NO photos
2:28 – Why \"the box of chocolates\" dating approach works
3:05 – When a date asked: \"What are you?\"
3:41 – Mixed women, fetishization & being perceived as \"exotic\"
4:20 – Do mixed men experience this too? Jin asks the audience
4:46 – Closing reflection & call to continue the conversation
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💬 IN THIS EPISODE
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Gin opens up about using a blind matchmaking service where you don't
learn the other person's name, race, profession, or even last name
until an hour before the date. She reflects on what it's like to date
without preconceptions — and without anyone doing \"recon\" on her first.
But a question on one of those dates stopped her cold: \"What are you?\"
Jin unpacks the fetishization that mixed-race women — and multiracial
people broadly — often experience in dating and social spaces, and
connects it to a conversation she had with a mixed woman in her 20s
who was experiencing the exact same thing. The cycle hasn't broken.
This episode is part of the Living IncogNegro series — raw, honest
conversations about identity, race, belonging, and what it means to
live authentically as a mixed-race person in America.
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🌐 LEARN MORE & JOIN THE CONVERSATION
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🎙️ Podcast + full episodes: https://www.LivingIncogNegro.com
📲 Subscribe for new conversations every week
👇 Drop your story in the comments — have YOU been asked \"what are you?\"
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🔔 If this conversation made you think, hit LIKE & SUBSCRIBE
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","author_name":"Gin Hammond"}