{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/6790d0371ab6c8a3677d4132/6979377ca40f59499ecbc1e0?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"How to Be Selfish: A Guide for People Pleasers and Boundary Setting","description":"<p><a href=\"https://sites.balancedbodyandretreats.com/a-retreat-like-no-other\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>FULL RETREAT DETAILS HERE</strong></a>   If what Suzy shares resonates, she’ll be running a&nbsp;<strong>two-hour self-advocacy workshop</strong>&nbsp;at my&nbsp;<strong>Spring Retreat at Wilderness Reserve, Suffolk</strong>&nbsp;from&nbsp;<strong>6-9 March 2026</strong>. Susie’s session alone will be genuinely life-changing - especially if you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start living in a way that includes you too.  </p><p><br></p><p>Suzy Reading returns to the podcast to unpack her new book&nbsp;<strong>How to Be Selfish</strong>&nbsp;- a powerful reframe of selfishness as&nbsp;<strong>self-advocacy</strong>, self-trust and learning to live like you matter too.</p><p><br></p><p>This conversation is for the women who:</p><p><br></p><ul><li>feel selfish for resting</li><li>struggle to say no</li><li>automatically apologise (even when they’ve done nothing wrong)</li><li>find it hard to receive support, compliments or kindness</li><li>look successful on the outside, but feel stretched and dysregulated underneath</li></ul><p><br></p><p><br></p><h3>Key themes we cover</h3><p><br></p><ul><li>Why “selfish” isn’t the real problem -&nbsp;<strong>shame and guilt</strong>&nbsp;are</li><li>How women are conditioned to be the&nbsp;<strong>good girl</strong>&nbsp;(pleasant, compliant, endlessly available)</li><li>The “pandemic of not enoughness” - and why it’s not a personal failing</li><li>How modern culture twists resilience into&nbsp;<strong>hyper-independence</strong></li><li>Why learning to receive is essential for healthy relationships (not a burden)</li><li>How to advocate for yourself without becoming cold or uncaring</li><li>Why confidence isn’t just mindset - it’s&nbsp;<strong>head, heart and body</strong></li></ul><p><br></p><h3>Suzy’s 7 steps to self-advocacy (from the book)</h3><p><br></p><ol><li><strong>Reclaim your mind</strong>&nbsp;- unpick limiting beliefs and shift from thoughts to self-talk</li><li><strong>Reclaim your senses</strong>&nbsp;- take back control of attention and reduce overwhelm</li><li><strong>Reclaim your body</strong>&nbsp;- regulate the nervous system so it feels safe to speak up</li><li><strong>Reclaim your right to feel</strong>&nbsp;- emotions aren’t “negative”, they’re information</li><li><strong>Reclaim your moral compass</strong>&nbsp;- clarify values and what actually matters to you</li><li><strong>Boundaries with self</strong>&nbsp;- sleep, habits, energy, and keeping promises to yourself</li><li><strong>Advocate with others</strong>&nbsp;- communicate needs clearly and receive support</li></ol><p><br></p><h3>Tools you can try today (simple, but powerful)</h3><p><br></p><ul><li><strong>Hand on heart + sip of tea/water</strong></li><li>Ask:&nbsp;<em>Where am I at? What do I need?</em></li><li>Then do one small thing to meet that need.</li><li><strong>Somatic holds</strong>&nbsp;(circuit breakers for stress):</li><li>hold one thumb</li><li>hold your own hand</li><li>give yourself a hug</li><li><strong>the “face hug”</strong>&nbsp;- warm your hands, cradle your chin, breathe</li><li><strong>Posture reset for confidence</strong></li><li>When we’re collapsed forward, it’s harder to say no.</li><li>Try shoulder rolls or “V to W” arms while breathing.</li></ul><p><br></p><h3>A gentle reminder</h3><p>You don’t need to&nbsp;<em>wait until you feel worthy</em>&nbsp;to take care of yourself.</p><p>The feeling of worth often comes&nbsp;<strong>from the nourishing action</strong>.</p>","author_name":"Alexandra Simms"}