NOTE! Video available on YouTube. In this episode, I sit down with marriage coach and former therapist Lee Baucom to talk about what really causes marriages to break down—and how to prevent it.
Lee explains that most couples unknowingly “hit the pause button” after committing, turning their focus to life demands and building habits of disconnection. We unpack the three levels of connection—physical, emotional, and spiritual—and why love alone doesn’t sustain a marriage without ongoing attention.
We also explore complacency, resentment, and what one partner can do when the other isn’t motivated, including inviting connection rather than chasing it. Finally, we discuss expectations, values-based responding, self-regulation during conflict, and shifting from competition to a team mindset, plus where to find Lee’s Save The Marriage and Unpause Your Marriage resources.
Un-Pause App: http://UnPauseYourMarriage.com
Save The Marriage System: http://SaveTheMarriage.com/system
My books: http://SaveTheMarriage.com/books
00:00 Lee Baucom
00:11 Introduction
01:10 Lee's Background & Origin Story
03:24 Why Marriages Fail: The Pause Button
11:48 The Three Levels of Connection
19:10 Rebuilding Connection: One Person Can Start
27:13 Attachment Theory & Personal Healing
28:07 Expectations & The Root of Frustration
32:49 Marriage as a Team
35:44 Self-Regulation & Responding from Values
45:21 Conflict That Serves the Relationship
47:13 Discovering Your Values
52:28 Wrap-Up & Resources
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