There's a name for what a lot of young people are doing right now, and it's not laziness. Dr. Suzanne Degges-White calls it life shelving: the decision to put the big stuff on hold because the weight of choosing feels like too much.
In this episode, Tess sits down with Dr. Degges-White, licensed counselor, professor of counselor education at Northern Illinois University, longtime Psychology Today contributor, and author of several books on relationships, including her upcoming title Was It Something I Said? Understanding Family Estrangement. With over two decades of teaching and clinical work, Dr. Degges-White brings a perspective on Gen Z that is both deeply researched and genuinely compassionate.
What follows is a wide-ranging conversation about why this generation struggles to decide, what the infodemic is doing to young people's ability to think deeply, what Gen Z actually learned by watching millennials burn out, and what both sides of a family estrangement need to hear before it's too late.
What listeners will learn:
00:00 Introduction: Who Is Dr. Suzanne Degges-White
00:58 Origin Story: Happenstance Theory and the Path to Northern Illinois
04:31 What Is Life Shelving? The Paradox of Choice and Why Young People Are Stalling
08:18 Why Feeling Stuck Feels Like a Personal Failure (And Why It Isn't)
09:30 The Infodemic Effect: Too Much Information, Not Enough Wisdom
11:18 Identity Development in 2026: Why Growing Up Now Takes Until 28
18:25 Public Lives, Public Mistakes: The Fear That Keeps People From Taking Risks
22:48 Gen Z in the Workforce: Self-Care Days, Deadlines, and the Entitlement Debate
27:03 The Push-Pull: Validating Gen Z While Still Holding a Standard
31:00 What Gen Z Learned From Watching Millennials Burn Out
40:36 Friendships: Toxic Patterns, Intergenerational Bonds, and the 10 Unspoken Rules
51:43 Family Estrangement: What the New Book Reveals About Both Sides
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