In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess is joined by Ashley Herd, founder and CEO of The Manager Method, employment attorney, former HR leader at McKinsey & Company and Yum Brands, co-host of the HR Besties podcast, and author of the newly released book The Manager Method: A Practical Framework to Lead, Support, and Get Results.
Ashley brings a rare, inside view of management from every angle - frontline work, legal risk, HR leadership, and executive training - to unpack why managers have an outsized impact on employee mental health, engagement, and retention. Drawing on research showing that a manager can influence wellbeing as much as a spouse, Tess and Ashley explore how leadership behavior ripples far beyond performance metrics and into people’s lives at home.
This conversation tackles the realities facing modern managers: promotion without training, identity loss when high performers become leaders, generational misunderstandings, and the crushing pressure placed on middle managers. Together, they offer practical, human-centered strategies for leading effectively without burning people out, including Ashley’s core framework: Pause, Consider, Act.
This episode is essential listening for HR professionals, people managers, and executives responsible for building sustainable leadership pipelines and healthier workplace cultures in 2026 and beyond.
Be sure to subscribe to The Gen Mess with Tess podcast for new episodes weekly.
00:01 – Welcome & Introducing Ashley Herd
02:02 – From employment attorney to leadership educator
03:29 – Why great individual contributors often struggle as managers
05:31 – Promotion myths and the cost of untrained leadership
07:59 – Identity loss when high performers become managers
10:06 – The “LinkedIn test” and chasing titles over fit
12:19 – Why work identity is so powerful (especially in the U.S.)
16:05 – Middle managers: too much responsibility, too little support
18:58 – Why one-on-ones still matter at every leadership level
21:33 – The data: managers impact mental health as much as spouses
24:20 – How leadership stress follows people home
27:58 – Generations at work: framework, not stereotypes
32:23 – Technology, boundaries, and modern burnout
38:22 – Overcorrection, distrust, and workplace isolation
41:16 – One shift every manager can make today: Pause, Consider, Act
44:33 – Ashley’s book, resources, and closing reflections
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