Heather and Doug Boneparth run Bone Fide Wealth together, write a weekly substack The Joint Account, authored the book Money Together and are married with two daughters. Doug is a Certified Financial Planner and active funny meme creator and Heather is a lawyer, writer on love, money and family. In this episode, Moraya and Nick get into the real story behind Money Together: growing up with different money worlds, and they formed two different relationships to money, attachment, and belonging.
Q: Can two partners handle money completely differently and still be a strong team?
Yes. Heather and Doug describe reaching the same outcome through different math, \"7 + 3 = 10, and 5 + 5 = 10.\" Their Calibrate Couples Mirror showed they share some of the same core challenges but lean on different strengths to work through them, they make a whole pie. As they beautifully write in their book, you expand and make room for your partner.
Q: What's one financial gesture that can carry more meaning than its dollar value?
Doug co-signed the refinance of Heather's $200k student loans after they were married. For Heather, it wasn't really about the loan, it meant \"your burdens are my burdens.\" Their secure attachment helped heal deep shame.
Q: Why should financial advisors treat both partners as equal decision makers?
As Heather puts it in the episode and shouts in their book \"caregivers are providers too.\" Advisors who only engage the higher earner miss the full financial picture, and the overlooked partner's wellbeing often suffers for it. And something we preach at Calibrate this creates more risk as families age and life can change fast.
Q: Where do adult money patterns actually come from?
Shaped in childhood. Both Heather and Doug trace their financial instincts, her drive for independence, his belief that any setback is fixable, back to money messages from their families long before they met. Both now have divorced parents and they share stories in their book. We give it a 10/10 and recommend reading their stories and the many diverse couples stories they share.
Before recording, Heather and Doug took the Calibrate assessment. Moraya reflects on their individual results and Couples Mirror in a longer blog post at homeecpodcast.com.
Curious how your strengths compare with your partner's? Take the free Calibrate assessment. It takes about 10 minutes because it’s not a buzzfeed quiz – it’s actual behavioral science.
Follow: Doug on X & Instagram · Heather on Instagram · Bone Fide Wealth
Connect with Moraya & Nick: Instagram @homeecpod & @Calibrate_app · TikTok · Calibrate on LinkedIn
Email or send a voice memo with your thoughts and questions to Moraya@calibrateeq.com
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not financial, legal, or clinical advice.
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