{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/6604e12b53b2df001616fc10/6aa9643bfca3d5c77b654c82?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"98: What Change Does Not Look Like & How to Test Them","thumbnail_width":200,"thumbnail_height":200,"thumbnail_url":"https://open-images.acast.com/shows/6604e12b53b2df001616fc10/1789485949390-fc1146e5-956b-4fe1-8398-25610848c9ca.jpeg?height=200","description":"<p>How do you know when an abuser’s “change” is actually just another form of control?</p><p><br></p><p>In this episode, I break down the clear signs that an abusive person is <strong>not truly changing</strong>, including real text messaging examples and behaviors you may see after leaving.</p><p><br></p><p>I also talk about how you can respond in a way that gives you greater clarity and helps you recognize a <strong>stream of clues</strong> that the change is performative or temporary. We’ll talk about using <strong>boundary setting as a tool for yourself (</strong>not because you expect a coercive controller to respect your boundary indefinitely), but because a boundary can create a marker for YOU to refer back to. </p><p><br></p><p>Their response to that boundary can give you a stream of new evidence to help you remain focused while you are away from them.</p><p><br></p><p>If you’re struggling to determine whether someone is truly changing or simply changing tactics, this episode is for you.</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Aimee Says AI Tool: </strong>https://www.aimeesays.com/en/plan/select - use code GRACE for a discount.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Abusive Men Describe the Benefits of Violence Article: </strong>https://www.bwss.org/abusive-men-describe-the-benefits-of-violence/</p><p><br></p><p>Quotes used from the book \"Why Does He Do That\"</p>","author_name":"Grace Stuart"}