{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/6604e12b53b2df001616fc10/6a68d0b2928f102203e60771?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"Ep 92 Abusers Don't Lose Control- They Deploy It: with Lindsay Stoker creator of The Control Code","thumbnail_width":200,"thumbnail_height":200,"thumbnail_url":"https://open-images.acast.com/shows/6604e12b53b2df001616fc10/1785251451349-1d3d3c05-6c51-4523-8fa0-ddc4308eeac1.jpeg?height=200","description":"<p>I sit down with <strong>Lindsay Stoker </strong>creator of <strong>The Control Code </strong>to unpack the most misunderstood aspects of <strong>coercive control</strong> and <strong>psychological abuse</strong>.</p><p><br></p><p>One of the most powerful shifts in understanding abuse is learning to stop asking, <em>“Was this incident abusive?”</em> and instead asking, <em>“What was this behavior designed to accomplish?”</em> We discuss why the <strong>function</strong> of abusive behavior matters far more than the form it takes.</p><p><br></p><p>In this conversation, we cover:</p><p><br></p><ul><li>Why abusers don’t <strong>lose</strong> control—they <strong>deploy</strong> it.</li><li>Why coercive control is built through a million tiny threads that eventually become a rope.</li><li>How abusers intentionally use \"low-cost\" methods of control that leave no bruises but dramatically reshape your behavior.</li><li>How abusers get you to control yourself.</li><li>Why the phrase <em>“He never hit me”</em> can keep survivors from recognizing an abusive relationship.</li><li>How looking at abuse one incident at a time prevents you from seeing the system of control operating underneath it.</li><li>Why abuse is like a pig wearing different colors of lipstick—the tactics change, but the function remains the same.</li></ul><p><br></p><p>If you’ve ever questioned your own experience because there wasn’t one “big enough” event, this episode is for you.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Guest Links and Resources:</strong></p><p>Lindsay's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_control_code/</p><p>Lindsay's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_control_code</p><p>Lindsay's SubStack: https://substack.com/@thecontrolcode</p><p>Lindsay's Coercive Control Guides: https://linktr.ee/TheControlCode?utm_source=ig&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_content=link_in_bio&amp;fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnCAZZI0BG0_X3rb4H7PS00yhJ3cAaZlTXiZ4Fi2zTweMMAbCGRy79jdMi_aQ_aem_lzeUgb-UjxBaVXAmpyJlaA</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Topics:</strong> coercive control, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, abusive relationships, manipulation, trauma, survivor education, relationship red flags, coercive control patterns, Lindsay Stoker, The Control Code.</p>","author_name":"Grace Stuart"}