In 2018, my nine-year relationship ended just weeks before our wedding.
I then found out my ex had been having an affair.
I lost the future I had planned, my family unit, my income and the career I had built around him. I experienced a breakdown and was left with around £15,000 of debt.
From the outside, I looked as though I was coping.
I went out, drank, trained for half marathons and dated younger, unsuitable and emotionally unavailable men. Sometimes all three in one convenient package.
But looking as though you are coping is not the same as healing.
My life looked fine from the outside, but my self-worth was on the floor.
Then I made the decision to work with a life coach for six months.
My coach didn’t rescue me or tell me what to do. She helped me stop waiting for somebody else to rescue me.
Today, my life looks completely different.
In this episode, I explain how coaching helped me challenge the beliefs I had mistaken for facts, change my relationship patterns and create a new vision for my future.
I also answer the question: What does a life coach actually do?
IN THIS EPISODE:
• Why looking as though you are coping doesn’t mean you have healed
• What life coaching is and how it differs from therapy
• How your experiences can shape your beliefs and relationship choices
• Why I kept looking to unsuitable men for validation
• The role values, boundaries and identity played in rebuilding my life
• Why being chosen isn’t the goal, but being treated well is
• How coaching helped me turn a vision into action
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF:
• Where in your life are you pretending to be fine?
• What are you using to distract yourself from how you really feel?
• What happened to you, and what have you decided it means about you?
• How is that belief affecting the relationships you accept now?
• What do you want your life to feel like three years from now?
• Who do you need to become to create that life?
WAYS TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP WITH RACHEL
Join Life After Divorce: Heal, Rebuild & Become You, my free community for midlife women healing after heartbreak or divorce.
Connect with women who understand, share what you are going through and receive support to help you feel like yourself again.
💕 TAKE THE LOVE-BLOCKING ARCHETYPE QUIZ
Take my “Why Am I Still Single?” quiz to find out your Love-Blocking Archetype and understand what may be happening underneath your relationship patterns.
If heartbreak has left you questioning who you are, what you want or what comes next, you do not have to work through it alone.
During an Empowerment Session, we’ll look at where you are now, what may be keeping you stuck and what could help you move forward.
Whether you want to heal after heartbreak, rebuild your confidence, find yourself again or create healthier love, this is a place to start.
CONNECT WITH RACHEL
If this episode reminds you of another woman who needs to hear it, please share it with her.
This episode shares general education and personal experiences. It is not a substitute for individual mental health support.
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