Ben Hopkins speaks with psychologist Todd Kashdan, a George Mason University professor who has spent 25 years studying curiosity, purpose, relationships, and well-being. Kashdan explains how to explore a meaningful direction without mistaking it for a rigid life plan, and why discomfort, attention, perspective-taking, and the shadow self can help us live more fully.
What if the emotions we try to avoid, like anger, envy, and frustration, can help us live more fully? Ben Hopkins talks with psychologist Todd Kashdan about purpose, meaning, attention, and how to work with the less comfortable parts of ourselves.Todd shares why finding purpose isn’t a quick fix, how paying attention can make room for curiosity and new ideas, and why a meaningful life may involve choosing a path that fits you, even when it goes against cultural expectations. They also explore the “shadow self,” the useful signals in difficult emotions, perspective-taking, friendship, and being more present with the people around us.
In this conversation:
• How to explore what gives you energy and a sense of direction
• Why purpose can guide you without dictating one fixed path
• How phones and constant distractions can pull our attention away
• What uncomfortable emotions may be telling us
• How anger can help us respond when something blocks a goal
• What the “shadow self” means—and how to work with it
• Ways to shift perspective during difficult moments
• Why showing up with real attention matters in relationships
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Meet Todd Kashdan
0:26 Finding purpose
2:08 Clues from what energises you
3:21 Purpose, smartphones and attention
6:02 Purpose and staying open to life
7:13 Choosing work and a life that fit you
12:10 Can we measure love and other human experiences?
15:43 A definition of wisdom
18:24 Attention and being present
22:18 What uncomfortable emotions can teach us
25:29 Why anger can be useful
30:24 The shadow self
35:09 Understanding the different layers of personality
47:06 Perspective-taking as a tool
52:06 Reframing a difficult relationship
53:59 Friendship and asking for support
56:22 The value of being fully engaged
59:44 What surprises Todd about human nature
1:04:17 Books that shaped Todd’s worldview
1:05:28 Where to find Todd’s work
Todd writes the Provoked Substack and discusses his book, On Purpose: The Science of Building a Meaningful Life, in the conversation.
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