On today’s episode, Toshi had a conversation with David Jay, who is the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education network, which is the world’s largest online asexual community. Together, they had a conversation about the experience of being asexual and the expectations that society has around sexuality, as well as how David has redefined relationships and intimacy as an asexual person. They also discussed three-parent families and the importance of building a community of care, and finished the conversation talking about why conflict is actually a really good thing.
Find AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) here:
https://www.asexuality.org/en/
Find David's book, Relationality: How Moving from Transactional to Transformational Relationships Can Reshape Our Lonely World, here:
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
01:26 – What does it mean to be asexual, or ‘ace’?
03:26 – What is compulsory sexuality?
04:39 – David’s experience as a young ace person
06:32 – How society has different sexual expectations for different bodies
08:15 – The impact of asexuality on how David sees relationships and intimacy
11:12 – The benefits of having intentional friendships
13:33 – Why you should be thinking about creating a community of care
16:35 – What it’s like to be in a three-parent family
19:44 – Two things you can learn from this podcast
23:01 – Advice if you want to be more intentional in your friendships
24:24 – Why being asexual is so liberating
26:39 – What David would have wanted his younger self to know
28:20 – How the ace community has changed over time
33:04 – Why relationships with others are so important
37:19 – Why conflict is a really good thing
39:34 – David’s message to ace listeners
40:43 – Conclusion
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