We’re on a health and wellbeing vibe this week talking about being off the booze and our love of Pavari cocktails, plus our secret addiction to the new season of Rivals. We’re also having a very down to earth honest chat with our guest - actor, podcaster, public speaker and coach, Salima Saxton.
Salima’s candid talk for The Moth has had millions of views on YouTube and is the story on which her forthcoming memoir ‘The Undoing’ is based. She talks about what happened when her husband, Carl, someone she’d always thought of as her ‘oak tree’ as he was so stable, called time on how they were living. She recalls the surprise of his frank admission about how he wasn’t coping, and her realisation that his mental health was in jeopardy. She sprang into action, dismantling their so-called ‘perfect’ London life, moving their three children out of their private school and back to her childhood home in the countryside. In doing so, she had to confront the ghosts of her past, but says that the upside is that in jettisoning all the ‘stuff’ she considered to be important, she’s reclaimed her younger self and what really matters in life.
Despite having alway marketed herself as great in a crisis, Salima was surprised by the way in which she reacted to her unexpected diagnosis of colon cancer last year and the news of the difficult treatment she had to undergo. When one of her friends described her as a ‘bad patient’, her incredibly popular Substack newsletter was born. Salima says that she doesn’t have a filter at the best of times, but she found comfort in sharing everything she experienced - from the silly questions she asked her surgeon, to her deepest inner fears. Unsurprisingly, her fans have deeply connected with her honesty, her humour and her compulsion to help other people.
Salima, who has been in shows such as This is England, Trigger Point and Twenty Twelve says she’s ready to move back into acting. She says her mantra for getting through life is to keep curious and to keep moving forward.The special ‘bits’ she brought to show us included a framed picture of her husband and son in a chippie. It was taken just at the end of her treatment when she’d lost her appetite, but suddenly had an overwhelming urge for big fat salty greasy chips. Her family drove to a chip shop in town and this moment reminded her that life would once again be ‘normal’. When she looks at it she says she feels emotional because she’s so proud of how her family pulled together and got through such a tough time.
With her three teenage children growing up fast, she brings a child’s jacket that has gone through her two girls and her son and reminds her of her beautiful moments of their childhood in London. We talk about the nostalgia of motherhood and how we navigate the emotions of our children changing and moving away from us.
She also brings a painting of honeysuckle that grew in the thatched cottage in which she grew up. It was painted by her late father, from whom she was estranged. It reminds her of the good parts of her dad and how she’s come to the realisation that he tried his best.
If you haven’t discovered Salima’s honest, funny, engaging Substack, find her https://substack.com/@salimasaxton and also on Instagram @salimasexton
Watch her emotional talk for The Moth here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA0BBHoMLuM
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