{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/643789a2ba30d20010916124/64bacf28c23a75001157cdcc?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"07 When to Stop the Self-Help","description":"<p>I'm a naturally growth-oriented person... however, I often find myself changing or \"fixing\" things that others think are a problem. What happens when I reorient to what's actually important to me?</p><p><br></p><p>The self-help industry will happily sell us solutions, whether or not the problem was actually bothering us before we heard about it.</p><p><br></p><p>Many of us feel like we're struggling alone. But not only are most people silently struggling, many neurodivergent folks feel that they're uniquely broken. It's such a common experience!</p><p><br></p><p>It's totally fine to choose to change something about your life. However, it can be helpful to check in with yourself to make sure it's really what you want.</p><p><br></p><p>The questions I offered around choosing to change something (and especially purchasing a self-help product):</p><ol><li>Is this actually causing me any harm?</li><li>Is it harming anyone at all? If yes, is that harm actually meaningful, or am I mostly being harmed by the shame around it?</li><li>If I changed this about myself, what might \"better\" look like? Is that definition or desire coming from me, or suggestions outside of myself?</li><li>Is paying attention to this popular \"problem\" keeping my attention away from anything deeply important to me? If I didn't put time, attention, or money into this, what might I want to do instead?</li><li>If I never changed again, would I (still) love and accept myself?</li></ol><p><br></p><p>Here are the messages I need to hear:</p><ul><li>It's okay to take breaks from personal growth.</li><li>It's okay to give up on changing things about yourself just because they might make other people more comfortable.</li><li>It's okay to focus on what your body and mind actually want and need, whether or not those line up with messaging from people around you.</li><li>I bet you're actually doing a great job with the circumstances you've been given.</li><li>Even if you never change or fix another thing, I love and accept you.</li></ul><p><br></p><p><a href=\"https://docs.google.com/document/d/1af--Bdjiwe_3nSMNnvgBRRsj5WT8DmJ_SX0VzPd9_PU/edit?usp=sharing\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Full Transcript here</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href=\"https://mattia.ck.page/a6b7c9bf09\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">AuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup</a></p>","author_name":"Mattia Maurée"}