With Niki trapped aboard the San Francisco Space Station, local hero Charles Harte steps in to \"fill the void\" and help LB and John answer some of the biggest questions facing today's Sleepy Americans, including if anyone has ever fucked The Big Apple Coaster at New York-New York Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, how hot farts are, the biggest poop ever recorded, contracting Hantavirus, whether the bathroom attendant knows if this building is haunted, and folks? Somehow even more.
Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.
Who are we?: We are Niki Grayson (https://twitter.com/godsewa) (the Buster Keaton of basketball), John Warren (https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult) (business boy and wassail pervert, short), LB Hunktears (https://twitter.com/hunktears) (handsome genius, 5'8\", America's Gamer), and producer Jordan Mallory (https://bsky.app/profile/jordo.bsky.social) (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (https://maxds.itch.io/). Follow the show: https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving
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