{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/657a67eadbf5da001707605c?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"From Your Friends at Mc.P.P","description":"<p>In what might be considered a Reverse Christmas Miracle, LB, Niki and John and have lost all 30-65 children that reportedly attend Drivey's Ed., our montessori school for babies with rich parents. Since you can't have a Christmas Pageant without adorable kids, we instead initiate a last-minute pivot to the next best thing, which is buying gifts for each other and ourselves on Temu. We also learn that Jesus died in Boulder, CO, and that large mesh holes refuse to be stuffy. Happy holidays! </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.</strong> </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Who are we?:</strong> We are&nbsp;<strong>Niki Grayson (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/godsewa\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/godsewa</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (the Buster Keaton of basketball),&nbsp;<strong>John Warren (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (business boy and wassail pervert, short),&nbsp;<strong>LB Hunktears (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/hunktears\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/hunktears</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (handsome genius, 5'8\", America's Gamer), and producer&nbsp;<strong>Jordan Mallory (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (<a href=\"https://maxds.itch.io/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://maxds.itch.io/</a>). </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Follow the show:</strong> <a href=\"https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving</a> </p><p><strong>Support us:</strong> <a href=\"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving</a></p>","author_name":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes"}