{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/6569301348d3ce00122c249c?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"Toys for Men Mastabator","description":"<p>LB, John and Niki celebrate the long-awaited death of one of history's greatest monsters before moving on to a series of adjacent topics, including grammar rules for sports team names; who's on our Oceans 11 team; getting what you need; the psyop involving \"these cups;\" the nude figurines LB was talking about earlier; uncovering juicy secrets; the sexy poop scene from Jurassic World; and bros, somehow even more.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.</strong> </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Who are we?:</strong> We are&nbsp;<strong>Niki Grayson (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/godsewa\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/godsewa</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (the Buster Keaton of basketball),&nbsp;<strong>John Warren (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (business boy and wassail pervert, short),&nbsp;<strong>LB Hunktears (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/hunktears\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/hunktears</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (handsome genius, 5'8\", America's Gamer), and producer&nbsp;<strong>Jordan Mallory (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (<a href=\"https://maxds.itch.io/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://maxds.itch.io/</a>). </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Follow the show:</strong> <a href=\"https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving</a> <strong>Support us:</strong> <a href=\"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving</a></p>","author_name":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes"}