{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/63dc4309c6c9550011423002?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"Shrek's Constitutional Rights","thumbnail_width":200,"thumbnail_height":200,"thumbnail_url":"https://open-images.acast.com/shows/6338983c88c51f0012371fdc/1666330465616-950eb33974233fdf9629f24594d85039.jpeg?height=200","description":"<p>With our producer Jordo in the icy hell of Texas' privatized energy grid, your hosts were free to bully each other, discuss NASCAR's Clash at the Coliseum, investigate the legal implications of Shrek, and explore the \"worst fandom in history\" bracket. [<em>Update: Jordo is back from hell and has replaced the original upload with a properly mixed version. If you heard the first MP3, congratulations!</em>]</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Welcome to <em>If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes</em>, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.</strong> </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Who are we?:</strong> We are&nbsp;<strong>Niki Grayson (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/godsewa\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/godsewa</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (the Buster Keaton of basketball),&nbsp;<strong>John Warren (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/FloppyAdult</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (business boy and wassail pervert, short),&nbsp;<strong>LB Hunktears (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/hunktears\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/hunktears</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (handsome genius, 5'8\", America's Gamer), and producer&nbsp;<strong>Jordan Mallory (</strong><a href=\"https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>https://twitter.com/Jordan_Mallory/</strong></a><strong>)</strong> (frog with computer). Music by Jordan Mallory and Art by Max Schwartz (<a href=\"https://maxds.itch.io/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://maxds.itch.io/</a>). </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Follow the show:</strong> <a href=\"https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.twitter.com/ifyouredriving</a> </p><p><strong>Support us:</strong> <a href=\"https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving</a> </p>","author_name":"If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes"}