You wouldn’t believe that we’re recording this the day after the Victims of Crime Commissioner here in Victoria released her report titled ‘Silenced & Sidelined” which was a disturbing report/insight into how victims of crime are treated by the justice system – from their initial report to Police through to their experience in the court system & how we can improve that experience. It was disturbing reading. My guest today Tammy Casselson’s story just highlights & confirms what the Victim of Crime Commission found in her report. What REALLY frustrates me is the fact that since 2016 there have been 7 reports into how victims are treated in the justice system & what can be done to improve their experience. With all due respect to Fiona McCormack, the Victims of Crime Commissioner, nothing seems to have changed. We just seem to be going round & round in circles. And Tammy’s story is proof of that……………
Tammy Casseslon had it all – or so it appeared. A carefree, happy childhood, happy upbringing, meets Mr Handsome, Mr Popular, Mr Nice Guy, Mr Life of the Party who also had a carefree happy childhood & happy upbringing. A happy life, right??!! Tammy & her husband had 2 adorable children & everything just seemed perfect.
But behind closed doors Tammy didn’t “have it all”. She was frightened. Her husband’s behaviour was becoming more unpredictable – his bursts of anger, his yelling, his insults & his threats, not only towards her, but their children.
Mr Handsome had become Mr Narcissist, Mr Abusive, Mr Vindictive, Mr Controlling, Mr Demeaning. Like so many other survivors of D&FV, Tammy made excuses for his behaviour, not recognising or understanding the seriousness of his increasingly violent behaviour. It wasn’t until an ill-fated attempt at taking his own life & ending up in hospital, Tammy found the courage to leave. That’s when she realised his abuse had included financial abuse & discovered their finances were in shatters, non-existent. He’d kept it secret from her that they had nothing – & Tammy & her children were homeless. But homelessness was a safer option than staying.
How does a successful, educated professional woman with a background in counselling, psychology, & teaching become homeless?
Tammy was dragged through the court system where all the games her husband could have played, he did – along with his legal representatives whom she felt belittled & intimidated by.
Tammy’s husband eventually did end his life but left a lot of heartache & “what ifs”. ‘What if’ they could have tried some type of amicable reconciliation, ‘what if’ their children & their father could have mended some of the damaged relationship, ‘what if’ he’d sought some help – his death became a senseless void unable to be filled. All because he refused to seek help.
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