For years, I thought my hip pain, migraines, joint pain, periods, mattress problems and increasingly bizarre symptoms were completely unrelated.
Then my vagina caught on fire.
Not metaphorically.
This summer, I went from traveling through Italy to barely being able to walk. My legs were throbbing, my feet felt like bricks, my vulva was burning, and somehow everything looked completely normal. I saw doctors and specialists, had MRIs and bloodwork, tried acupuncture, went down terrifying medical rabbit holes—and eventually found myself learning words I had somehow made it to 42 without ever hearing: vulvodynia, pelvic floor dysfunction and pudendal nerve pain.
And somehow this story involves five mattresses, perimenopause, Mounjaro, a $20 kettlebell, a horsehair bed, a broken Swiss Air business-class seat, my asshole, TikTok, and a seven-month-pregnant physical therapist who saw me at 9 p.m. on a Sunday.
Because apparently my hip, vagina, migraines, period and entire left side had been in a group chat for years—and nobody thought to add me.
This is the full story of the strangest medical mystery I’ve ever experienced, what finally helped me, and why women need to talk about the embarrassing symptoms we’re quietly Googling at 2 a.m.
Because we’ll discuss Botox, Ozempic, periods, bowel movements, sex and childhood trauma—but apparently the vulva is where we draw the line?
Topics include: vulvodynia, pelvic floor dysfunction, pelvic pain, pudendal nerve pain, pelvic floor physical therapy, perimenopause, chronic pain, migraines, Mounjaro and women’s health.