What happens when life forces you to face the one thing most of us avoid thinking about?
In this deeply honest and moving episode, I sit down with Gavin O’Donoghue, who shares his journey living with stage 4 metastatic melanoma, the reality of a terminal diagnosis, and the mindset shifts that have helped him keep showing up with hope, humour and heart.
This is a powerful conversation about presence, fatherhood, friendship, legacy, and what success really means when the “big stuff” is stripped away.
If you or someone you love is navigating illness, grief, anxiety, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life, this episode is a reminder that connection, love, and meaning are the real measures of a life well lived.
00:00:02 Introduction
00:00:47 Gavin’s honest answer: “Life is pretty tough right now”
00:08:12 Hope as a lifeline in dark moments
00:08:47 The power of presence + “the greatest Christmas ever”
00:09:58 Was Gavin always present, or did cancer change that?
00:10:36 Work, busyness, and the struggle to switch off
00:13:50 Society’s pressure, productivity, and the “success” trap
00:15:03 Gavin’s old definition of success vs. what it became
00:24:26 Leadership lessons: helping others win
00:26:34 Giving, reciprocity, and building a “personal board of directors”
00:36:07 Teaching kids success before crisis forces the lesson
00:37:56 What really matters at the end of life
00:44:35 Curiosity, learning, and taking control where you can
00:45:13 Mindset tools: breathwork, gratitude, and community support
00:54:38 Why vulnerability is strength (and isolation makes it harder)
00:57:04 “That’s what makes you rich” — relationships as real wealth
00:59:17 Men, friendship, banter, and why community matters
01:01:02 Creating legacy: recording stories for his boys
01:05:49 The balance between hope and realism
01:07:33 Why we avoid talking about death (and what we miss)
01:09:52 Gavin’s diagnosis story: from stage 2 to stage 4
01:25:16 How Gavin keeps going after setbacks
01:25:39 Purpose, therapy, goals, and finding reasons to keep moving
01:35:32 The Open qualifier: “my biggest f*** you to cancer”
01:39:13 The example he’s setting for his children
01:42:22 The “A-grade letter” exercise + “Go brave”
01:55:19 Paying it forward: Wolo, awareness, and impact
01:57:57 Biggest life lessons: love, honesty, vulnerability, meaning
02:13:14 Closing words + “Go brave”
Gavin is an executive search consultant with 20 years’ experience in financial markets. Since 2019 he has been living with melanoma, and following a stage 4 diagnosis, he has endured multiple treatments while continuing to show up for his family, his friends, and his purpose with honesty, humour and heart.
“Success now is hugging my boys… being present… love… connection… the simple stuff.”
Please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs a bit of hope today.
And if you’re going through something right now send the text. Ask the question.
Those three words can matter more than we realise.
🎧 LISTEN TO MORE DIFFERENT HATS EPISODES:
👉 https://www.different-hats.co.uk/podcast
🔗 Connect with Gavin O’Donoghue
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/odonoghue.gavin/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gavin-o-donoghue-12ba5312/
💡 If this episode resonated with you, please like, share, and comment below. Your support helps us spread this important message and change the narrative around success and mental health.
SPONSORED BY:
Rivervale
Brown Bear Studios
Carpenter Box
PRODUCED BY: H2 Productions: https://h2productions.co.uk/
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