{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/619bc042f13bd50014f52ee2/69af1518fa579a07b5a2ce39?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"We Need To Stop Performing Love And Desire","description":"<p><strong>Want to win a free sex toy? All you have to do is follow us on Instagram and leave a review of the podcast wherever you're listening or become a <em>paid </em>subscriber to our </strong><a href=\"https://sextras.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Substack</strong></a><strong>. For just £6 a month you'll get access to: extended podcast episodes, bonus episodes, exclusive features and essays, biweekly newsletters, and a community chat. </strong></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Send us a screenshot of your submission to sextraspodcast@gmail.com or our </strong><a href=\"https://www.instagram.com/s3xtrasworld/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Instagram</strong></a> <strong>DMs. Submissions close 31 March. Must be based in EU or UK to enter. </strong></p><p><br></p><p>A carefully curated post-break-up Instagram profile. A £3.5k wedding videographer. Shit-talking your ex on TikTok. We're obsessed with appearances and (guess what?!) it's impacting our relationships.</p><p><br></p><p>In the <a href=\"https://open.acast.com/public/streams/619bc042f13bd50014f52ee2/episodes/696556691266d4af749b6449.mp3\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">first episode of the series</a>, Honey was joined by relationships editor Daniella Parete Clarke to talk about how we're all policing each others' behaviour. This week Dani comes on the pod again to talk about the flip-side of that: how we're all performing for an imaginary audience.</p><p><br></p><p>We start the episode by looking at Guy Debord's theory of the spectacle, and how it's showing up in politics, the workplace, our obsession with looksmaxxing, and our sex and relationships lives. We unpack why we can't stop putting on a show on dates, and why it's dangerous to force vulnerability and pleasure instead of just <em>feel </em>it.</p><p><br></p><p>Thank you for listening! You can find us on <a href=\"https://www.instagram.com/s3xtrasworld/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Instagram</a>, <a href=\"https://www.tiktok.com/@sextrasworld\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">TikTok</a>, and <a href=\"https://sextras.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Substack</a> (where we have tons of articles about sex and relationships and exclusive content), or contact us via our website to get involved in the conversation or tell us what you want us to talk about next.</p><p><br></p><p>Got a sex/relationship/friendship-related confession or dilemma? Submit it <a href=\"https://sextrasworld.com/sex-relationship-confessions\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">anonymously here</a> and we'll make a whole episode or write an article just for you.</p><p><br></p><p>In this episode we reference:</p><ul><li>Guy Debord's <em>The Society of the Spectacle</em></li><li><a href=\"https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a69684371/gooning-fetish-of-the-year-2026/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">The inevitable rise of gooning</a>, Cosmopolitan UK</li><li><a href=\"https://harpers.org/archive/2025/11/the-goon-squad-daniel-kolitz-porn-masturbation-loneliness/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">The Good Squad</a>, Harper's</li><li><a href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2026/mar/05/there-is-no-shame-in-being-vain-the-relentless-rise-of-impossible-male-beauty-standards\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">The relentless rise of impossible male beauty standards</a>, The Guardian</li><li><a href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/30/opinion/trump-visual-symbols-authoritarian.html \" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">The Unreal Spectacle of Trump's Authoritarianism</a>, NYT</li><li><a href=\"https://leylakazim.substack.com/p/i-did-no-work-for-a-year \" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">I did no work for a year and no one noticed,</a> Leyla Kazim, Substack</li><li><a href=\"https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/oversharing-benefits-health-love-career-friendship-b2925743.html\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">The secret power of oversharing: How saying too much became the key to getting ahead</a>, The Independent</li><li><a href=\"https://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/69254/1/timothee-chalamet-kylie-jenner-marty-supreme-la-premiere-orange-matching-outfits \" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Timothée and Kylie really need you to know they're still together</a>, Dazed</li><li><a href=\"https://hinge.co/en-gb/newsroom/2025-GenZ-Report\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Hinge's D.A.T.E report</a></li><li><a href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/28/margot-robbie-jacob-elordi-wuthering-heights-press-tour-fauxmance\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Till DVD release do us part: how far will Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi take their Wuthering Heights showmance?</a>, The Guardian</li><li><a href=\"https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/long-engagement-wedding-bridge-planning-b2906501.html\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">I do? The rise and rise of the absurdly long engagement</a>, The Independent</li><li><a href=\"https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/fashion/a66068467/engagement-ring-trends-2025/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Is It Just Us? Or Are Engagement Rings Getting Bigger?</a> Cosmopolitan US</li><li><a href=\"https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/public-break-ups-social-media\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">Since When Did Break-Ups Get So Public?</a>, Vogue</li></ul><p><br></p><p>Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt and co-hosted by Danielle Parete Clarke</p><p>Music by Sacha Puttnam</p>","author_name":"Sextras"}