If you’ve tried to comfort a mother who lost a child to suicide, or lived it, episode 466 of Grief and Happiness is for you. Jackie M. Baker shares why suicide grief lasts longer, how shame and “what ifs” isolate parents, and how journaling healed her. Saying yes to help and finding beauty in brokenness helped her laugh again.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
(00:43) Meet Jackie: pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of two
(01:19) Losing her son to suicide and the journey to Messy Mourning
(08:46) Reading her journal aloud to a grief counselor to release her pain
(12:27) Finding beauty in her brokenness, one sunrise at a time
(13:37) Saying yes and offering grieving friends practical help
(17:32) Leading GriefShare and the pastor who urged her to grieve openly
(21:09) Back at work as a nurse practitioner through grief fog
(29:16) Free suicide loss resources, from laments to “things that help, things that hurt”
Jackie M. Baker is a writer, storyteller, and pediatric nurse practitioner based in Vancouver, Washington. After her 23-year-old son, Sebastian, died by suicide in 2017, she began writing through her grief, which led to her debut book, Messy Mourning: Hope for Mothers Grieving the Loss of a Child by Suicide, a companion offering honest reflection and hope. Her work covers grief, faith, motherhood, and healing, and she writes on Substack. Jackie also leads a GriefShare group at her church, supporting widows, widowers, and parents through loss.
In this episode, Jackie tells Emily how Messy Mourning came to be. After losing Sebastian, who struggled with bipolar disorder and depression, she became an empty nester within six months and took a creative nonfiction class. She wrote a memoir first, then started over on her writing coach’s advice. Finding little written on suicide loss, she saw that this grief often lasts longer and carries extra shame, guilt, and “what ifs.” Jackie explains how reading her journal aloud to a grief counselor released grief the body would otherwise carry, and how she looked for “beauty in my brokenness” daily. She also learned to say yes, accepting offers of help and taking a youth pastor’s advice to keep meeting with her church group of girls so they could see her grieve and keep living. She closes with free resources from her website, including a “things that help, things that hurt” list and songs of lament.
Connect with Jackie M. Baker:
Book: Jackie M. Baker – Messy Mourning
Let's Connect:
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Book: Emily Thiroux Threatt - Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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