If you've wondered how unspoken grief shapes those you love, episode 464 of Grief and Happiness is for you. Author Audrey Hyams Romoff, daughter of a child Auschwitz survivor, shares how her family's silence reached her daughter. A joint trip to Auschwitz broke it, showing how honesty and kindness can keep trauma from the next generation.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
(00:53) Audrey's background and her memoir on four generations of women
(01:21) Her mother's childhood in Auschwitz and the silence passed down to her daughter
(09:22) How a trip to Auschwitz with her daughter changed their relationship
(11:56) Why the crowds at Auschwitz gave mother and daughter opposite reactions
(15:25) Writing a grief memoir without tying it up in a pretty bow
(17:23) Why the circumstances of a death shape how grief lingers
(19:44) How her mother and grandmother carried the same trauma so differently
(32:30) Why "survivor" marks the start of a new battle, not the end
(34:07) Small kindnesses and her Aunt Sheila's motto: just show up
Audrey Hyams Romoff was born in Montreal to a mother who was one of the youngest children to survive Auschwitz, and grew up in a home that looked polished while that history played out within. In Toronto, she founded OverCat, a communications and influencer agency, consulting for brands such as Victoria's Secret and Estée Lauder and stars like Jennifer Lawrence. Cosmetics Magazine named her a top public relations executive, and she chaired communications for the Fashion Cares AIDS fundraiser. Her memoir, The Undertow of Grief: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma, follows the Holocaust's impact across four generations of women.
In this episode, Audrey shows how unspoken trauma is passed down. She describes her mother's refusal to face her past and the loss of both parents in 2008, when her mother ended her life and her father died alongside her. After learning her daughter, Lindsay, had hidden her own grief to protect her, Audrey traveled with her to Auschwitz for PBS NewsHour on the 80th anniversary of its liberation. She explains why her mother rejected the word "survivor," why Audrey sees survival as the start of a new battle, and why her book offers no tidy ending. Grief and joy coexist, she says, but grief never leaves, and she closes with a case for small kindnesses and her Aunt Sheila's motto: just show up.
Connect with Audrey Hyams Romoff:
Book: Audrey Hyams Romoff - The Undertow of Grief: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma
Let's Connect:
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Book: Emily Thiroux Threatt - Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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