Announcement: Cat Noir will be releasing 12 episodes weekly from Feb 2026 and then again later in the year.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker is up to something.
See you for Season 8 in 2026.
K: Right then. Please tell me you’ve got a complete script ready, Matt, cos I’ve been flat out busy lately and, although I’m writing several at once, I’ve not got a full episode done for tonight.
M: Oh-oh.
K: So, I’m hoping you’ve got one ready for us to record.
M [sheepish]: Aaaahhh…
K: That sound does not fill me with confidence.
M [sheepish]: Errrrmmmm…
K: Neither does that one… Have you got a script ready?
M [confidently]: Of course I have, Kev! This one’s called… The… Curse… of the Missing… Kit Kat…
K [not convinced]: Uh-huh… And… could this have anything to do with the Kit Kat that’s currently sat next to your microphone?
M: Yikes. Wait… Hang on…
M: [chomping and swallowing noises] …What Kit Kat, Kev?
K: And that’s it, is it? That’s your script?
M: Yeah, Sorry… I’ve been flat out busy too though, what with all the what what and the what.
K: I know what you mean. It’s the same for me to be to be fair, to be sure, at the end of the day, do me a favour.
M: Precisely.
K: What are we going to do then?
M: Relax, Kev. I’ve got this covered.
K; And how exactly will you do that?
M: I’ve brought a friend with me.
K: You mean the tall lean silent gentleman sitting beside you?
M: I do!
K: I see. And who is this?
M: This, Kev, is Humphrey. He’s a Hollywood trained improvisation script writer and multi-talented voiceover artist.
K [excited]: Wait… really?
M: Yep. I thought he could create a new story right now, and you and I can join in along the way with other voices.
K [happy]: Matt, that’s brilliant! I’d love to improvise an episode! Nice to meet you, Humphrey. Welcome to Cat Noir. Let me get you a microphone…
K: The stage is yours, Humphrey. Why don’t you guide us into a brand new story…
[a few seconds of silence]
K [prompting]: …Humphrey…
[a few seconds of silence]
M: Oh yeah. I forgot to say… he’s non-verbal.
K: He’s what?
M: Non-verbal, Kev. It means he doesn’t speak.
K: I know what non-verbal means! That’s not the part I’m struggling with… I thought you said he was a voiceover artist?
M [realising]: Oh yeah… Doesn’t make much sense, come to think of it…
K [examining Humphrey]: Hang on… There’s something else wrong with this picture too…
M [panicky]: Errrr… what do you mean?
K: Well, Matt… Upon closer inspection… Humphrey’s not even an actual person… This is an upside down broom with a pair of googly eyes taped to the bristles…
M [rumbled]: It is, Kev; yeah. You’re absolutely right… I said I’ve been busy.
K: Well, don’t worry. I think I’ve just thought up a plan that might get us through this.
M: Have you? What’s that then?
K: What about if we took a short break?
M: But I’ve already eaten my Kit Kat.
K: No, Matt. I mean, instead of our previous formats of once a fortnight and then once a month, what about if we did seasons?
M: You mean like the weather?
K: I mean more like television, where episodes are played closer together, but with gaps between each season.
M: Hmmm… Sounds like a lot of writing still, Kev. What with the what what and all the what what.
K: That’s true. The what and the what certainly do take up an awful lot of time, what what.
M: It’s how we’re in this pickle to begin with.
K: Okay... We could make the episodes slightly shorter.
M: What, you mean like a smaller portion size, but a more frequent delivery.
K: Exactly. I’m glad you understand.
M: I understand it perfectly. In fact, smaller but more frequently is how I’m doing pizza these days.
Listen on...
","author_name":"Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders"}