Getting engaged to your partner is typically a time for celebration. But for today’s guest Max Dickins, it was …. more complicated. As he prepared to propose to his girlfriend, Naomi, he had an uncomfortable revelation: he couldn’t think of anyone to ask to be his best man. This prompted a personal crisis for the writer and comedian – one which inspired him to address the dwindling friendship connections in his own life …… and to investigate the topic of male mental health and loneliness more. The result was his brilliant non-fiction book, Billy No Mates: How I Realised Men Have a Friendship Problem.
This is a wide-ranging discussion, which actually opens with a chat about the romance of solitude – sometimes Max has always valued, but once used as an excuse for why he sometimes had no one to see at weekends. We also cover gendered attitudes towards both solitude and loneliness, which was really interesting and definitely opened my eyes. I hope you enjoy listening.
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Takeaways
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background
03:00 Gendered Perspectives on Solitude
06:00 Toxic Masculinity and Extreme Solitude
09:00 The Rationalisation of Solitude
10:00 Loneliness vs. Solitude
12:00 The Social Biome and Balance
15:00 The Friendship Problem for Men
20:00 Exploring Masculinity and Gender Conditioning
23:00 Gendered Behaviours and Barriers to Connection
29:00 Weekend Loneliness and its Impact
34:00 Reevaluating the Value of Solitude
38:00 Reflections on the Book and the Importance of Conversation