{"version":"1.0","type":"rich","provider_name":"Acast","provider_url":"https://acast.com","height":250,"width":700,"html":"<iframe src=\"https://embed.acast.com/$/60739ed0573fe727919ee8da/60739ed57e076612eb5d211a?\" frameBorder=\"0\" width=\"700\" height=\"250\"></iframe>","title":"Until Now","description":"<p><strong>Notes about the song:</strong> <em>The original demo and instrumental demo version of </em><em><strong>Until Now</strong></em><em>, which was originally released on April 29th, 2019, was recently re-recorded, reproduced, remastered, remixed and re-engineered at Robot Dog Studio with the assistance of a producer/co-producer duo known as Ryan Cohen and Robot, along with executive producer/co-producer October Rain Evans </em><em><strong>(that's me!)</strong></em><em>, as part of an ongoing effort to revisit original demos and re-release them in better-sounding formats as an complete anthology album, slated for a TBD release date (possibly by 2021/2022).</em></p><p><em>This was about my struggles over the years with C-PTSD, Depression, Gender Dysphoria and living life on the road for 10 years after losing my late wife to suicide and my late daughter to leukemia.</em></p><h3><strong>Lyrics</strong></h3><p>Until now…<br>I’ve been lost searching for answers<br>Sleepless with eyes wide open<br>I never knew peace until I found myself here again<br>Until now…<br><br>I’ve been drifting away on icy seas<br>Never found hope on these lonely streets<br>Mistakes I made as I kept falling apart<br>Words I’ve said I meant from the heart<br>It was all gone until now…<br><br>There’s a light blinding me in my sleep<br>Restless nights in hotel rooms crying<br>Left on a train to Brattleboro<br>Never knew the meaning of home<br>I was too far gone until now…<br><br>Supposed to be left for dead<br>Lost in bottles of beer and pills<br>All the winters spent alone inside my head<br>No silence from my Post Traumatic Devils<br>Thought I was forever lost until now...<br><br>I finally unzipped out of this shell<br>I escaped this transphobic hell<br>Ohhh<br>Ohhh<br>Ohhh<br>So comfortable in my transgender skin<br>I wasn’t okay until I became a woman.</p><p><strong>[ENDS]</strong></p><h3><strong>Credits</strong></h3><p><em>released September 6, 2019<br>Lyrics Written by October Rain Evans<br>Music by Dakoda Tanksley and October Rain Evans<br>Originally Recorded, Produced and Mixed by October Rain Evans, Dakoda Tanksley, Shawn Jameson and Amy Wilder at Chiaroscuro Music Studios<br>Re-Recorded, Remastered, Reproduced and Remixed by Ryan Cohen, October Rain Evans and Robot at Robot Dog Studio<br>Mastering Done by Robot Dog Studio<br>Deaf Grrrl Music/Trans Mad Genius Lyrics/sadistsateme.songwriting [ASCAP]<br>Dakoda Tanksley Music [BMI]<br>Engineer: Ryan Cohen<br>Assistant Engineer: Amy Wilder and Shawn Jameson<br>© ℗ 1999-2020 October Evans, Robot Dog Studio, Deaf Grrrl Music, Chiaroscuro Music Studios. All Rights Reserved.</em></p>","author_name":"Behind the Scenes with October"}