What if the biggest obstacle to becoming who you're meant to be isn't outside circumstances, but the boxes you've been checking your whole life? In episode 275, executive coach and bestselling author Tori DaCosta shares how a pause in her corporate career led her to write No Name Bastard—and reclaim ownership over the one thing she could truly control: herself.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
(05:11) From Executive MBA to a Career-Defining Pause
(07:08) Life as a Primary Caregiver and the Question That Changed Everything
(10:45) Naming All the Hats: The Exercise That Sparked Clarity
(12:38) Work-Life Collaboration Over Work-Life Balance
(21:06) Why Tori Wrote No Name Bastard
(24:45) Surprising Reader Feedback and Redefining Ambition
(29:05) Learning to Sit Still and the Freedom of Letting Go
(42:29) Rebuilding Self-Trust Through Control, Manage, and Influence
(47:51) Why Challenges Are Fuel — and Where to Find Tori
Tori DaCosta is a business leader, executive coach, bestselling author, and speaker who helps people lead themselves with clarity and intention. She's the author of No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence, drawing on her own experiences to help readers turn hard seasons into growth. She spent over a decade leading teams within a Fortune 50 company, holds an Executive MBA from Emory University and a bachelor's degree from Appalachian State University, and centers her work on the transformative power of ownership. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and two children and enjoys running and the outdoors.
In this episode, Tori DaCosta shares the journey behind writing No Name Bastard and unpacks her \"control, manage, and influence\" framework. She traces her path from corporate leadership and an executive MBA to a moment of stillness that pushed her to rethink the impact she wanted to make, and offers practical strategies like scheduling one-on-one time with her kids and swapping work-life balance for work-life collaboration. She speaks to self-trust, ownership, and sitting with discomfort, using a biosphere experiment where trees fell over from lack of wind to show why resistance builds strength. She also discusses redefining ambition and success on her own terms, freeing herself from judgment, and the surprising response from male readers around people-pleasing.
Connect with Tori DaCosta:
Book: Tori DaCosta - No Name Bastard
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