What happens when you already know there's no winning, and you keep going anyway?
In this episode I sit down with Jonathan Todd Schwartz, a former Hollywood business manager who embezzled millions from a handful of clients, including Alanis Morissette, and is now an addiction therapist, to explore why we keep doing the very things that are destroying us.We talk about how six years of betting on sports every day turned into a hole he kept digging deeper, why he bet on every game on the board even though it was almost impossible to win, how the hope of one big windfall kept him chasing, and why he believed asking for help was a weakness.
We also explore the childhood trauma he carried for 46 years without ever facing it, why he refuses to use that trauma as an excuse, what prison gave him that his old life never could, and why he now believes self-awareness has to come before you can change the way you talk to yourself.
But underneath the headlines, this conversation is about something much more personal.
Why we escape our emotions instead of feeling them. How presenting as Superman to the world can hide someone who feels like he's never enough. And what it actually takes to stop running and start owning your choices.
Because the thing you're using to escape the hole is usually the thing digging it. And the way out starts with the courage to ask for help.
Jonathan Todd Schwartz is a therapist specialising in addiction and trauma at Altus Rehab in Encino, California. A former CPA and partner at GSO Business Management, he was sentenced to six years in federal prison in 2017. He is now almost 10 years sober and uses his lived experience to help others get to the core of what drives their addictions.
If you're struggling, please reach out:
Timestamps:
(00:00) Introduction: Gambling Spiral Confession
(00:20) Meet Jonathan Todd Schwartz
(00:42) Stealing and Avoiding Help
(02:34) How Gambling Escalates
(04:47) Betting Every Game
(06:13) Rock Bottom and Asking Help
(07:16) Finding the Why Trauma
(09:10) Empathy Over Judgment
(11:55) Childhood Abandonment and Abuse
(13:37) Healing Trauma With EMDR
(16:03) Fight Flight Comfort Zone
(18:36) Self Care Without Money
(20:33) Vulnerability and Connection
(24:03) Self Awareness and Emotions
(28:50) Success and External Validation
(30:41) Host Story and Ambition Trap
(32:43) Authentic Change Within
(33:19) Quality Circle Over Fame
(35:03) Celebrity Validation Trap
(36:08) CPA to Embezzlement Fallout
(39:11) Making Amends and Asking Help
(43:17) Recovery Nerd Mindset
(44:00) Cocaine and Sobriety Choices
(46:29) Suicide Prevention and Empathy
(50:37) Money Lessons and Humility
(53:37) Social Media as Addiction
(56:33) Advice to Younger Self
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