Most men don't think they have a porn problem. They think they just have a habit. Something they do late at night, alone, that nobody needs to know about.
But according to today's guest, that habit isn't really about sex. It's about something much harder to face.
In this episode I sit down with Jeremy Lipkowitz, a former Buddhist monk, scientist and founder of Unhooked Academy, to talk about what's really driving compulsive porn use in men and why willpower alone will never fix it.
We talk about why most men start using porn as young as eight or nine years old, how it rewires the brain to crave novelty over real intimacy, why the shame of the habit makes it worse not better, and what the Rat Park experiment reveals about what addiction is actually about.
But underneath the porn, this conversation is about something much more universal. The emotions men avoid, the pain they won't sit with, and the coping mechanisms they build around that pain without ever realising it.
Because the problem was never really the porn. The problem is what the porn is helping you not feel.
Jeremy Lipkowitz is a former Buddhist monk, certified mindfulness teacher and founder of Unhooked Academy, a global community helping men break free from compulsive behaviours and build a life of discipline, purpose and integrity.
Timestamps:
(00:00) Introduction: Porn as Avoidance
(01:45) Early Exposure Origins
(04:27) Porn Is Not Special
(06:23) The Insatiable Cycle
(08:51) Trance of Unworthiness
(10:45) Success and Insecurity
(14:16) Society Against Flourishing
(15:35) Men Lost in 2026
(20:07) Is Porn Ever Healthy
(24:48) AI Porn Dystopia
(27:15) Quit Completely vs Moderate
(28:32) Community and Algorithms
(29:44) Algorithmic Dopamine Traps
(31:14) Dropping Shame Taking Ownership
(33:12) Porn Rewires Objectification
(37:18) Novelty Addiction Warning Signs
(38:48) Coping Not Sex Drive
(41:40) Rat Park And Fulfillment
(45:39) Mindfulness Under The Urge
(47:37) Talking With Partners Safely
(49:40) Recovery Not Perfection
(52:43) Anti Guru Real Talk
(54:24) Where To Find More
(55:10) Final Thanks And Support
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