Today's guest built an audience of millions before she was old enough to sign a record deal, turned a 30-minute crying freestyle into her debut single, and made one of Gen Z's defining breakup anthems out of a phrase that became its own internet language. But her real story isn't the viral fame or the streams. It's the part that plays like a runaway and teaches like a masterclass: how she left home at 17 to chase music, what it costs to become a person in public, and everything about the business nobody explains until you've already survived it.
And The Writer Is... Nessa Barrett!
In this episode of And The Writer Is, we go deep on:
• Why she ran away from home at 17 — a 4AM ticket, six school bags, cops on her trail — to make music
• The truth about \"i hope ur miserable until ur dead\": she didn't write it, it's not her favorite, and why she sang it anyway
• \"pain\" — the 30-minute freestyle she cried through in the booth that became her first single
• Why she can't record with Auto-Tune — and what she learned the first time someone handed her a finished song to cut
• Signing to Warner Records on Zoom during Covid — and the messy contract she had to escape first
• \"All of my confidence comes from my fans\" — the performer who still gets embarrassed easily
• The childhood trauma and the generational cycle she says she's trying to break
• Why she closes her eyes every time she records, and writes a song like she's building a movie
• The lowest point of her career — and how prayer, faith, and going back to her core brought her out of it
• \"I've never loved my music as much as this — and I didn't know it could feel this way\"
And much more...
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A special thank you to our lead sponsor, NMPA — the National Music Publishers Association. Your support means the world to us.
Chapters
0:00 Intro — her whole journey has been public
1:37 The cafeteria TikTok that blew up
2:48 A childhood with no stability
3:45 \"A lot of trauma — that's what drove me here\"
4:20 Why she chose to be open about her struggles
6:50 Music as her safe place + her dad's makeshift studio
9:22 Her first recording, at four years old
10:56 Walking into a real LA studio, terrified
12:21 Songwriting as a diary
14:17 The tell-all she might publish under an alias
17:30 Join the conversation on Patreon
18:21 Stage fright, bullying, and the voice crack
20:34 \"All my confidence comes from my fans\"
23:44 From cafeteria TikToks toward LA
28:59 Running away at 4AM — the plane ticket story
32:54 Landing at the Sway House at 17
34:54 First sessions, jxdn, and singing other people's songs
36:34 Why she can't record with Auto-Tune
38:07 NMPA: why publishers fight for songwriters
38:49 Learning to ask for what she wanted in the booth
42:24 \"pain\" — the 30-minute freestyle that became her first song
45:02 Signing to Warner Records on Zoom
50:19 The public breakup, and hearing old songs differently
51:32 \"i hope ur miserable until ur dead\" — singer vs. listener
54:07 The truth about who wrote her biggest song
55:50 Breaking away from the influencer label
59:06 Building a sonic world — writing like a movie
63:45 Why she closes her eyes every time she records
64:10 Five movies that shape her sound
65:12 Acting, directing, and what still scares her
68:16 The new era: falling back in love with music
70:18 Rapid fire
71:27 The lowest point — and how she came back
74:49 What younger Nessa would admire most
77:19 A message to her parents
78:55 \"I've never loved my music as much as this\"
79:31 TAPENOTES: Ross & Joe break down the episode
Credits:
Hosted by Ross Golan
Produced by Joe London & Jad Saad
Edited by Jad Saad
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