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After Hours with Jimmy Thistle
I Had the Perfect Life — Beautiful House on the Beach, Successful Business, Gorgeous Kids — And I Was Dying Inside
Season 3, Ep. 16
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Episode 66 | Nikki Pears — 5 Years Sober, One Drink, and Back to Square One: Why Putting Down the Bottle Is Just the Beginning
In this raw and deeply honest episode, Jimmy sits down with Nikki Pears — South African-born sober coach, nervous system specialist, and founder of Mommy Is Sober — whose journey through addiction, relapse, rehab, and ultimately real recovery is one of the most layered and instructive stories the podcast has ever featured.
Nikki grew up in Johannesburg feeling lost, socially anxious, and like everyone else had been given a manual for life that she never received. Her first drink at 17 — sneaked in the bushes outside an Italian club — felt like the solution she’d been searching for. The anxiety melted away. She became the life of the party. She finally felt like she belonged. That feeling became the compass she chased for the next two decades.
Through veterinary nursing school in South Africa, where she became the first woman accepted into the Vets’ drinking club and students hooked each other up to saline drips to cure hangovers before morning lectures, to falling in love in Mozambique and building a successful scuba diving centre on the beach — Nikki’s life looked extraordinary from the outside. Beautiful home. Thriving business. A loving husband who knew when to stop. Three kids. And inside, a hole in her soul that no amount of alcohol, success, or sunshine could fill.
The drinking got worse. The rules — only wine, only after six, only on Fridays — never lasted. She missed her flight to rehab three times because she needed one last party first. She eventually checked herself in for what she thought would be four weeks. She stayed for six. And it worked — for two years. Then she stopped going to meetings, decided she’d cracked it, and white-knuckled the next three years in a state of furious, emotionally volatile, exhausting dry sobriety — still carrying every unprocessed feeling, just without the numbing agent. After five years, she picked up a drink. Within weeks it was worse than before rehab.
What finally worked — and what makes Nikki’s story genuinely different — was going inward. Nervous system regulation. Learning that she’d spent her entire life in fight-or-flight mode, suppressing every emotion since childhood, and that sobriety without inner healing is just white-knuckling in slow motion. Now four years into what she calls her real recovery, Nikki coaches women online through @mommyissober, helping them regulate their nervous systems so alcohol loses its grip — not through willpower, but through genuine inner peace.
You can find Nikki on instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/mommyissober?igsh=MWh1Zno3ZXUyc2hlOA==
And Nikkis website is here:
https://mommyissober.live/
The Surrender Experiment - Michael A. Singer
https://amzn.eu/d/0fBHg276
My Instagram is:
https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmy
And you can find all my other links at:
https://linktr.ee/jimmythistle
Buy me a coffee…
https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmyt
Alcohol Explained - William Porter
https://a.co/d/0854fIb6
This Naked Mind - Annie Grace
https://a.co/d/0gy6mT9Z
A Million Little Pieces - James Frey
https://a.co/d/0jdcIjGb
Donate:
https://motiv8.im/donate/
https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
My Instagram is:
https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmy
And you can find all my other links at:
https://linktr.ee/jimmythistle
Buy me a coffee…
https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmyt
Alcohol Explained - William Porter
https://a.co/d/0854fIb6
This Naked Mind - Annie Grace
https://a.co/d/0gy6mT9Z
A Million Little Pieces - James Frey
https://a.co/d/0jdcIjGb
Donate:
https://motiv8.im/donate/
https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
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24. My Biggest Trigger Is Loneliness — Every Single Relapse Started the Same Way: Alone, a Cancelled Plan & a Bottle of Wine
03:17:44||Season 3, Ep. 24Episode 74 | April (Sally Sober) — From Whistler Snowboarder to 42 Days in Hospital: The Full StoryApril grew up in London, Ontario — good grades, scholarship to university, full of creative ambition. She was the weird middle kid who painted her nails black and hung out with the art kids, and found her first real confidence at 19 when she discovered alcohol above the campus pub. What followed was a decade that looked brilliant from the outside: five years in Whistler snowboarding six days a week, a ska band in Vancouver, a career in travel sales, nightclub promoting. Work hard, play hard — always in balance, always functioning. Then COVID happened.Locked down with a partner who also drank heavily, no job, liquor stores open from 7am, the balance tipped. By the time things opened up and the relationship ended, April was drinking alone to fall asleep and waking up at 2am to do it again. Loneliness was the trigger — it always has been. When a family member flew out and saw what her life had actually become, that was the moment things had to change.What followed was a two-year cycle of getting sober, hitting a milestone, telling herself she’d been sober long enough to have just one — and relapsing. Four times. Each time the withdrawal was harder because she knew what was coming. Then this February: almost five months sober, Valentine’s Day, her friend cancelled at the last minute, a bottle of wine at home, a long weekend, the old crowd, and eventually — through a chain of events she can’t fully discuss for legal reasons — 42 days in hospital with emergency surgery. She lost her job. She couldn’t eat or drink anything for two weeks. A nurse left a bottle of water on the counter and she lay there staring at it, lips cracked, not allowed to touch it.Now two months back and 111 days sober, April — who started her account as Sally Sober before going by her real name — talks about finally knowing who she is without a drink, the opposite of addiction being connection, and why this time genuinely feels different.You can find April on Instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/sobergalproblems?igsh=MTY1OHRtaW04ZmR3MA==
23. I Inherited £100,000 & Snorted & Drank the Whole Lot in 16 Months — Then Crashed a Van on Ketamine, Got Caught by Police & Sat in a Cell Crying for 18 Hours
02:13:42||Season 3, Ep. 23Episode 73 | Ross May — Jersey, Ketamine & Running Ultras: How £100K, a Van Crash & 18 Hours in a Cell Finally Broke ThroughRoss May grew up on Jersey — nine miles by five — in a house where his dad drank heavily from Friday to Sunday and family life happened around arguing and alcohol. There was no one kicking a ball about with him, no male figure showing up for things. So Ross found his people outside, got easily led, got into trouble at school, and by 13 was paralytic at a New Year’s Eve party wondering why people kept telling him the next day about a version of himself he didn’t recognise. That version, he’d eventually realise, was his dad.Through his twenties he worked as a maintenance carpenter, drank every weekend to blackout, and smoked weed daily. Then after COVID he inherited £100,000. Within 16 months it was gone — all of it snorted or drunk, surrounded by people who appeared when the money did and vanished when it didn’t. He had over 30 Monday no-shows at work in a single year. Ketamine became his midweek go-to. He crashed a van while on it with friends in the back, tried to do a runner, got caught, and spent 18 hours crying in a cell. The fine cleared his bank account. He was close to prison.What pulled him back was running. He went from never running in his life to a sub-four-hour marathon in four months — then an ultra of 100K in Austria. Each time he cleaned up something would bring him back: a funeral wake, a friend saying you’ve done so well, the cogs of the old life turning again. Three pints at a pub and he felt nothing but shame. He left with his mum.Now approaching a year sober on Jersey, training for ultras, in a relationship with a woman who used to take drugs just to try and fit in around him, Ross talks about what sobriety actually is: not becoming a better person, but stripping back to your raw, honest self with nowhere left to hide. His word for life now: magical.Ross is on Instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/rosspowell__?igsh=MWliZHk0aDd5M2N4Mw==The Daily Stoic - Ryan Holidayhttps://amzn.eu/d/0bxvfz8kCan't Hurt Me - David Gogginshttps://amzn.eu/d/0gFQoXB7TOMU - The Open Mic Unfiltered Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tomu-the-open-mic-unfiltered/id1822149303
22. I Woke Up in a Stranger’s Bed With No Phone, No Idea How I Got There — My Friends Thought I Was Lying in a Ditch
01:32:27||Season 3, Ep. 22Send us Fan MailEpisode 72 | Jessica White — Sexier Sober: The San Diego Coach Who Quit Without Trying & Never Looked BackIn this bright, sharp and genuinely thought-provoking episode, Jimmy sits down with Jessica White — sober coach, host of the Sexier Sober podcast, and professional organiser based in Carlsbad, California — whose story of growing up in a high-functioning drinking household, nine years of blackout drinking, and a moment of quiet moral clarity that ended it all without drama or rehab is one of the most distinctive the podcast has featured.Jess grew up in San Diego in a well-meaning, loving family where both parents had substance issues — managed, high-functioning, never chaotic — but emotionally distant. She absorbed drinking as the normal currency of connection: football parties, family gatherings, the way adults loosened up and let go. A sensitive, neurodivergent kid who felt something was always slightly wrong with her, she couldn’t wait to find what would finally make her feel okay. At 14, she found it — blacked out the first time, threw up, and couldn’t wait for the next one.For nine years, Jess drank hard and largely had fun — social, energetic, the life of every party. She chose UC San Diego deliberately, a school full of serious students, because some part of her knew she needed that counterweight. She graduated with good grades. But outside the library, Thursday through Sunday, she was blacking out consistently, waking up with no memory of whole nights, doing things she’d never do sober, saying things she’d never say, sleeping with people she’d never have chosen — and rationalising every single time that next time she’d moderate.The moment that broke it wasn’t dramatic. It was a Tuesday night, Taco Tuesday, with a younger colleague who looked up to her as a role model. Jess had two or three drinks, remembered nothing, lost her phone, was driven home drunk by the person who called her a mentor. The shame wasn’t about the hangover. It was about the profound split between who she was performing herself to be and who she was actually showing up as. Out of alignment. Out of integrity. Done.That was July 8th 2020 — two weeks before Jimmy’s own sober date. She never craved it again.What makes Jess’s story distinctive is the path she took before that date. Three years of internal work — meditation, journaling, visualisation, studying how she worked. Six months of treatment at Rogers Behavioral Health for depression and anxiety — not for alcohol. A growing circle of people who were living differently and reflecting back to her what was possible. By the time she put down the drink, the work was already done. The alcohol just stopped fitting the life she was building.Now nearly five years sober, Jess runs Sexier Sober — one-to-one coaching, a podcast, and a community membership — built around the radical idea that sobriety isn’t the goal. The goal is becoming so clear on who you are and who you want to be that alcohol simply stops making sense. Effortless sobriety, she calls it. Not easy. Just inevitable.You can find Jess on Instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/jessmariewhite?igsh=MTdhMnJpeTE2cWdmbA==And her Linktree:https://linktr.ee/jessSupport the showMy Instagram is:https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmyAnd you can find all my other links at:https://linktr.ee/jimmythistleBuy me a coffee…https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmytAlcohol Explained - William Porterhttps://a.co/d/0854fIb6This Naked Mind - Annie Gracehttps://a.co/d/0gy6mT9ZA Million Little Pieces - James Freyhttps://a.co/d/0jdcIjGbDonate:https://motiv8.im/donate/https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
21. I Blacked Out Every Weekend for 15 Years & Thought That Was Normal | Simon’s Story
01:31:52||Season 3, Ep. 21Send us Fan MailEpisode 71 - SimonIn this episode, Jimmy sits down with Simon, a 36-year-old Glaswegian stonemason and business owner who grew up in the drinking culture of the West of Scotland. Simon shares his honest journey from teenage blackouts and festival benders, to using alcohol as a stress coping mechanism when launching his own business — and how his wife Katie’s gentle nudge finally pushed him toward lasting sobriety. Now 10 months in and doing the inner work through therapy, Simon’s story is a powerful reminder that sobriety isn’t about white-knuckling it — it’s about understanding yourself.Simon is a stonemason living in Glasgow.For most of his adult life, he found himself drifting into moments where he’d imagine a sober life. He always wanted to get there, but never quite knew how. How would he fit in? How would he function without a drink?In 2020, he started his own business. That became the final straw that broke the camel’s back. His drinking had been creeping up for years, and things were starting to unravel. Work, relationships, life, all of it felt heavier.In July 2023, at the end of a music festival, he told his wife he’d had enough.Since then, he’s had periods of sobriety, some longer than others. But now, 8 months in, something feels different. Alongside therapy and a deeper understanding of himself, this time feels real.You can find Simon on Instrgram at:https://www.instagram.com/simon.is.sober?igsh=MThzNml6NjJ3N3Judw==Simon’s Just Giving Page:https://www.justgiving.com/page/katie-simon-arran?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=WA&fbclid=PAVERFWARixVhleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA8xMjQwMjQ1NzQyODc0MTQAAaceN9IlkXqO6zmeAbDJlraesiRvBGZeXdBDA45sp5-SC65n0lD-tw2x2aHh3Q_aem_zA-QpmtZqZzd2eVvYm5G8AAndrew Huberman - Podcast Episodehttps://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/huberman-lab/id1545953110?i=1000744781362Support the showMy Instagram is:https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmyAnd you can find all my other links at:https://linktr.ee/jimmythistleBuy me a coffee…https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmytAlcohol Explained - William Porterhttps://a.co/d/0854fIb6This Naked Mind - Annie Gracehttps://a.co/d/0gy6mT9ZA Million Little Pieces - James Freyhttps://a.co/d/0jdcIjGbDonate:https://motiv8.im/donate/https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
20. My 9-Year-Old Daughter Said ‘I Don’t Like the Sound of Your Voice When You Drink’ — That Was My Wake-Up Call
01:29:11||Season 3, Ep. 20Send us Fan MailEpisode 70 - Abi KingIn this powerful episode of After Hours Guys, Jimmy sits down with Abi King, a sober coach and host of the Sober Connection Podcast, now based in New Zealand. Abi opens up about her journey from teenage binge drinking in 1990s England to four years of hard-won sobriety — and everything in between.Abi is originally from the UK, but now lives in New Zealand. Mum to 3 teenage girls, she spent most of their childhood buying into the 'mummy wine' culture, rushing bedtime so she could get to the couch and her bottle of wine (or 2). After one of her daughters told her they didn't like the sound of her voice when she was drinking, Abi decided to quit, thinking it would be easy. It took 4 years of constant stop-starting but she got there in the end. Now over 4 years sober, she's finally become the mum she always knew she should be. She now educates people on alcohol-related issues through her 1:1 coaching and her own podcast, The Sober Connection. You can find Abi on instagram:https://www.instagram.com/levelup.withabi?igsh=MTdmbTBlN3k0NzM1bA==30 Days to Freedom by Abi Kinghttps://subscribepage.io/30-days-to-freedom-resetThe Sober Connection Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-sober-connection/id1809595582Mrs D is Going Without - Lotta Dannhttps://a.co/d/04SPXfBIBoing Point https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11127680/?ref_=ext_shr_lnkThe Virtueshttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt7186126/?ref_=ext_shr_lnkSupport the showMy Instagram is:https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmyAnd you can find all my other links at:https://linktr.ee/jimmythistleBuy me a coffee…https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmytAlcohol Explained - William Porterhttps://a.co/d/0854fIb6This Naked Mind - Annie Gracehttps://a.co/d/0gy6mT9ZA Million Little Pieces - James Freyhttps://a.co/d/0jdcIjGbDonate:https://motiv8.im/donate/https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
19. I Quit Drinking With Zero Support, No Apps, No Podcasts — And Nobody Even Noticed for Two Weeks
01:52:12||Season 3, Ep. 19Send us Fan MailEpisode 69 - Emma NewmanIn this deeply honest episode, Jimmy sits down with Emma Newman, a 10-year sobriety veteran who got sober in 2015 — before sober coaching existed, before quit-lit flooded the shelves, before Instagram accounts made recovery feel possible. Emma’s story is one of the most relatable on the podcast precisely because there was no dramatic rock bottom. No intervention. No ultimatum. Just a quiet, growing certainty that alcohol wasn’t serving her anymore.Emma quit drinking over ten years ago, long before sobriety became a trend or a wellness choice. Back then, choosing not to drink often raised eyebrows, and the only visible routes were AA or rehab. Emma chose neither, instead carving out her own path—without quit lit, podcasts, or a sober community to lean on.By day, she’s a mum to two teenagers (and two cats) and works for a disability charity. In her spare time, she’s become a passionate advocate for alcohol-free drinks, supporting the category from its earliest days. Today, Emma is a regular judge of alcohol-free categories and writes about non-alcoholic drinks, bringing both lived experience and a sharp critical palate to a category that’s come a long way since she started.You can find Emma on instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/emma_sobersonic?igsh=MXVhY2JraXdodWhzbw==And Emma’s linktree at:https://linktr.ee/emma_sobersonicLove Sober Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/love-sober-podcast/id1379018341The Outrun - Amy Liptrothttps://amzn.eu/d/06LpGWumWild - Cheryl Strayedhttps://amzn.eu/d/00v410CZDry - Augusten Burroughshttps://amzn.eu/d/0iEP1EZsWintering - Katherine Mayhttps://amzn.eu/d/0fOgxG4LSupport the showMy Instagram is:https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmyAnd you can find all my other links at:https://linktr.ee/jimmythistleBuy me a coffee…https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmytAlcohol Explained - William Porterhttps://a.co/d/0854fIb6This Naked Mind - Annie Gracehttps://a.co/d/0gy6mT9ZA Million Little Pieces - James Freyhttps://a.co/d/0jdcIjGbDonate:https://motiv8.im/donate/https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
18. I Was Hiding Bottles in My Car, Refilling Them So Nobody Would Notice — For 8 Years Nobody Did
01:39:52||Season 3, Ep. 18Send us Fan MailEpisode 68 - Adam BurgIn this compelling episode, Jimmy sits down with Adam Berg, a government affairs lobbyist and mayoral appointee from Denver, Colorado, whose polished professional exterior hid nearly a decade of secret, escalating alcohol abuse. Adam’s story is a masterclass in high-functioning denial — working with US senators, building a career in law and policy, all while hiding bottles in his car, refilling them so nobody would notice, and drinking every single night.Adam Burg lives in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and their dog, Ruby. His sobriety date (May 20, 2022) marks a turning point that came after more than a decade spent cycling through alcoholism, stuck in the all-too-familiar limbo between wanting change and not knowing how to reach it. Eventually, something shifted. Adam made the decision to confront his illness head-on. He asked for help, committed to recovery, and began the hard, daily work of rebuilding his life with honesty and intention. Today, that same journey has become a source of purpose. What once held him back now fuels his ability to connect with and support others facing similar struggles. His story is one of resilience, accountability, and the belief that change is possible for anyone, one day at a time.You can find Adam on Instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/sober__traveler?igsh=MW41bjFvczd2cnBlaA==Unexpected joy of being sober - Catherine Greyhttps://amzn.eu/d/03SBYaMGRecovery Elevator - Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/recovery-elevator/id971959728Support the showMy Instagram is:https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmyAnd you can find all my other links at:https://linktr.ee/jimmythistleBuy me a coffee…https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmytAlcohol Explained - William Porterhttps://a.co/d/0854fIb6This Naked Mind - Annie Gracehttps://a.co/d/0gy6mT9ZA Million Little Pieces - James Freyhttps://a.co/d/0jdcIjGbDonate:https://motiv8.im/donate/https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/
17. I Ran Marathons, Got Promoted, Had the Perfect Life on Paper — And Was Secretly Falling Apart Every Night
01:20:22||Season 3, Ep. 17Send us Fan MailEpisode 67 - Laura McKowenIn this landmark episode, Jimmy sits down with Laura McKowen — bestselling author of We Are the Luckiest and Push Off From Here, co-founder of one of sobriety’s earliest podcasts, and one of the most important voices in the modern recovery movement. With nearly 11 years of sobriety, Laura’s story is equal parts raw, literary, and profoundly hopeful.Laura is the author of the bestselling memoir We Are The Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life and Push Off From Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Life (and Everything Else).Her work explores the intersection of addiction, recovery, emotional sobriety, and the complexities of relationships. She has written for The New York Times and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The Guardian, The Atlantic, The TODAY Show, and more.In 2020, she founded The Luckiest Club, a global sobriety support community, and she writes Love Story, a popular Substack newsletter about sobriety, relationships, and writing. She is currently working on her third book.Laura lives with her daughter on the North Shore of Boston.You can find Laura on Instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/laura_mckowen?igsh=MjBnbDE5eHExbjY2And all Laura’s other links on Linktree:https://linktr.ee/laura_mckowenWe Are The Luckiest - Laura McKowenhttps://amzn.eu/d/0gKzYmnJPush off From Here - Laura McKowenhttps://amzn.eu/d/0hZASeMqJohn O’Donohue - The Inner Landscape of Beautyhttps://amzn.eu/d/0dQokDBMSentimental Valuehttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt27714581/?ref_=ext_shr_lnkDrinking: A Love Story - Caroline Knapphttps://amzn.eu/d/0dQokDBMSupport the showMy Instagram is:https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmyAnd you can find all my other links at:https://linktr.ee/jimmythistleBuy me a coffee…https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmytAlcohol Explained - William Porterhttps://a.co/d/0854fIb6This Naked Mind - Annie Gracehttps://a.co/d/0gy6mT9ZA Million Little Pieces - James Freyhttps://a.co/d/0jdcIjGbDonate:https://motiv8.im/donate/https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/