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Addiction Makes Three
101 - It Steals Us Away from the Person We Used to Be
What happens when you spend so much time focused on someone else's addiction that you stop recognising yourself?
In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores one of the quieter impacts of loving someone struggling with alcohol addiction, substance use, or addictive behaviours: the loss of self that can happen along the way.
Through powerful listener voice notes and Amanda's own experiences, this episode dives into what it looks like when your thoughts become consumed by someone else's drinking, recovery, moods, choices, and wellbeing.
You might recognise yourself if you've ever found yourself wondering:
đź’› Why am I always thinking about their drinking?
đź’› Why do I feel so exhausted all the time?
đź’› Have I lost myself in this relationship?
đź’› Why don't I know what I want anymore?
đź’› How do I stop addiction consuming my life?
Amanda shares why this happens, how loving someone with addiction can slowly pull us away from ourselves, and why reconnecting with who you are doesn't have to start with a huge life change.
This episode is part of the OUT LOUD series, sharing the real voices and lived experiences of people impacted by a loved one's addiction.
👉 FREE LIVE WORKSHOP - July 2nd | 3rd replay will be available
Letting Go Without Giving Up - Finding Peace Whether Your Loved One Is Sober Or Not
If you've ever found yourself thinking:
"I'll feel better when they get help."
"I'll relax when things settle down."
"I'll be happy when the drinking stops."
This free live workshop is for you.
Together, we'll explore how to stop carrying so much of what was never yours to carry, how to find more peace in the moments you can control, and how to start reconnecting with yourself again.
Because your life doesn't have to stay on hold while you wait for someone else to change.
July 2nd | 3rd replay will be available
👉 READY TO TALK IT THROUGH?
If you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering what comes next, you're welcome to book a private Friendly Chat with Amanda.
It's a safe, confidential space to talk through what's happening, what you're struggling with, and what support might help.
book in a friendly chat to talk it through
The waitlist for Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.
👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program
Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support.
You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.
And you deserve to live your life too.
And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.
If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.
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102. 102 - It’s all you think about. It takes Up Everything in Your Mind
15:11||Season 3, Ep. 102If you've been feeling exhausted lately... but it's not the kind of exhaustion sleep fixes... this episode is for you.When you're living with a partner or loved one struggling with alcohol addiction or substance use, it's not just the drinking that's exhausting.It's the constant worrying.The overthinking.The planning.The scanning.The mental load of trying to keep everything together while wondering what kind of day or night it's going to be.In this episode, Amanda shares more powerful listener voice notes from the OUT LOUD series and explores the invisible weight so many families carry but rarely talk about.If you've ever found yourself thinking:💛 Why am I so exhausted all the time?💛 Why can't I switch off?💛 Why am I always thinking about their drinking?💛 Why does it feel like my brain never stops?This episode will help you understand why.FREE LIVE WORKSHOPHow to Let Go Without Giving UpHow to Find Peace Whether Your Loved One Is Sober Or NotIf today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to invite you to my free live workshop.Together we'll explore how to stop carrying so much of what was never yours to carry, how to find more peace in the moments you can control, and how to reconnect with yourself again - without giving up on the person you love.Whether your loved one is actively drinking, in recovery, or somewhere in between, you'll leave with practical tools and a new way of thinking about your own wellbeing.July 2nd | 3rd (replay will be available)Register your spot here 👉 NEED MORE SUPPORT?If you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering what comes next, you're welcome to book a private Friendly Chat with Amanda.It's a safe, confidential space to talk through what's happening, what you're struggling with, and what support might help.book in a friendly chat to talk it throughThe waitlist for Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness ProgramPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.
100. 100 - The Things We Rarely Say Out Loud About Loving Someone with Addiction
32:32||Season 3, Ep. 100What if the hardest part isn't their addiction...What if it's what living alongside addiction has done to you?For this special 100th episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda shares real voice notes from listeners around the world about what it's really like loving someone struggling with alcohol addiction, substance use, or addictive behaviours.Together, their voices share...Feeling exhausted from constantly worryingWalking on eggshells and living in anticipationLosing themselves in someone else's addictionThe loneliness nobody seesGrief, heartbreak and wanting peaceIf you've ever found yourself searching:"Have I lost myself?""Why am I so exhausted all the time?""Why does nobody understand?"or"This is consuming my life..."This episode is for you.💛 OUT LOUDThis episode is the beginning of a special series sharing the voices, experiences and stories of people impacted by a loved one's addiction.Want to add your voice? Visit: www.addictionmakesthree.com/outloud👉 READY TO TALK IT THROUGH?If you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering what comes next, you're welcome to book a private Friendly Chat with Amanda.It's a safe, confidential space to talk through what's happening, what you're struggling with, and what support might help.book in a friendly chat to talk it throughThe waitlist for Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness ProgramPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.
99. 99 - I Think I've Lost Myself In This. Who Am I Without Their Addiction?
28:30||Season 3, Ep. 99Have you ever stopped and wondered who you would be if addiction wasn't part of your life anymore?Not because you don't love your person.But because addiction has taken up so much space in your life that you've lost touch with yourself.In this episode, we're talking about the quiet loss of identity that can happen when you've spent years focused on someone else's drinking, drug use, recovery, choices and wellbeing.We chat about...💛 Why addiction can slowly become part of your identity💛 Why peace can feel scarier than chaos💛 The labels many loved ones unknowingly carry💛 Grieving the version of yourself you feel you've lost💛 How to begin reconnecting with yourself againIf you've ever thought:"I think I've lost myself in this."This episode is for you.👉 READY TO TALK IT THROUGH?If you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering what comes next, you're welcome to book a private Friendly Chat with me.It's a safe, confidential space to talk through what's happening, what you're struggling with, and what support might help.book in a friendly chat to talk it through👉 Special Listener SeriesAs Addiction Makes Three approaches 100 episodes, Amanda is inviting listeners to be part of a special series called "Out Loud"Visit www.addictionmakesthree.com/outloudBecause sometimes the things we think we're carrying alone are the very things somebody else needs to hear.👉 Want more support and clarity?The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it throughPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.
98. 98 - Is This Just My Life Now? How Addiction Slowly Makes Your World Smaller
22:41||Season 3, Ep. 98A client recently said to me, "I finally love my job... but I don't get joy anywhere."And I think that one sentence captures what so many people impacted by addiction experience. Because one of the sneakiest things about survival mode is that it doesn't always look like falling apart.Sometimes it looks like functioning.You still go to work.You still parent.You still pay the bills.You still show up.From the outside, it can look like you're coping.Maybe you've even been telling yourself you're coping.But somewhere along the way, life starts becoming something you get through rather than something you experience.You stop seeing friends as often.You stop doing things you enjoy.You stop making plans.You stop dreaming about what you want.And without even realising it, your world slowly becomes smaller.In this episode, we're talking about the hidden impact addiction can have on the people living alongside it.Not just the obvious challenges.But the way loving someone struggling with alcohol addiction can affect your joy, your identity, your relationships, and your experience of your own life.💛 Why survival mode can feel so normal you stop noticing it💛 The difference between coping and truly living💛 Why so many spouses and partners of people struggling with addiction feel disconnected from themselves💛 How addiction can slowly shrink your world without you realising💛 The question I believe every person living alongside addiction needs to ask themselvesBecause the goal isn't simply to cope.The goal is to live.And if you've been feeling exhausted, disconnected, emotionally flat, or like life has become something you're managing rather than enjoying, I hope this episode reminds you that you're not alone.And perhaps more importantly... that this doesn't have to be the rest of your life.🎧 Listen now and let me know what resonated most.👉👉 Special Listener SeriesAs Addiction Makes Three approaches 100 episodes, Amanda is inviting listeners to be part of a special series called "Out Loud"Share your voice and answer one of three questions:What do you wish more people knew about loving someone with addiction?When you look back, how has addiction changed you?What do you want more of in your life now?👉👉 Visit www.addictionmakesthree.com/outloudBecause sometimes the things we think we're carrying alone are the very things somebody else needs to hear.👉 Want more support and clarity?If you're thinking: "I know something needs to change, but I don't know where to start."Discovery to Recovery was created for exactly this moment.To help you move from confusion and survival mode to clarity, steadiness and relief.Because you don't need all the answers right now.You just need your next best step. Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here.💕The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it throughPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you.
97. 97 - I Don't Think I Get To Fall Apart
18:36||Season 3, Ep. 97What happens when you've spent years being the strong one?The one who keeps going.The one who remembers everything.The one who holds the family together.The one who keeps functioning no matter what's happening around them.In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores the hidden exhaustion so many people impacted by addiction carry.The kind of exhaustion that doesn't come from a bad week.But from years of hypervigilance, over-functioning, emotional responsibility and survival mode.Because somewhere along the way, many people stop asking:"How am I?"And start asking:"What needs doing next?"If you've ever felt like you don't get to fall apart, this episode is for you.In this episode:Why being the strong one can become part of your identityThe hidden emotional cost of always holding everything togetherThe difference between wanting to leave your relationship and wanting to leave your responsibilitiesWhy so many people impacted by addiction feel exhausted, resentful and disconnectedThe question Amanda wishes more people would ask themselvesYour loved one's recovery matters.But so does yours.If you've been carrying more than anyone realises, perhaps even more than you realise yourself, maybe today's episode is your reminder that you don't have to keep doing it alone.👉👉 Special Listener SeriesAs Addiction Makes Three approaches 100 episodes, Amanda is inviting listeners to be part of a special series called "Out Loud"Share your voice and answer one of three questions:What do you wish more people knew about loving someone with addiction?When you look back, how has addiction changed you?What do you want more of in your life now?👉👉 Visit www.addictionmakesthree.com/outloudBecause sometimes the things we think we're carrying alone are the very things somebody else needs to hear.🎧 Listen now.Want more support and clarity?If you're thinking: "I know something needs to change, but I don't know where to start."Discovery to Recovery was created for exactly this moment.To help you move from confusion and survival mode to clarity, steadiness and relief.Because you don't need all the answers right now.You just need your next best step. Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here.💕The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it throughPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you.
96. 96 - I Can't Switch Off: Why I'm Always Waiting For Something To Go Wrong
20:08||Season 3, Ep. 96Do you feel like you're always waiting for the next problem?The next phone call.The next argument.The next relapse.The next thing that throws everything off course.If you love someone struggling with addiction, that constant feeling of being "on" can become so normal that you stop questioning it.You tell yourself you're just stressed.Just tired.Just a bit anxious.But what if the reason you can't relax has nothing to do with your personality?In this episode, Amanda explores one of the hidden impacts of loving someone with addiction: survival mode.From constantly scanning moods and overthinking conversations to feeling responsible for everyone else's wellbeing, many spouses and family members find themselves living in a state of hypervigilance without even realising it.Amanda shares why anxiety, emotional exhaustion and the inability to switch off are often signs of a nervous system that has spent years adapting to uncertainty.Inside this episode:• Why you're always waiting for something to go wrong• The hidden impact addiction has on your nervous system• What survival mode actually looks like in everyday life• Why hypervigilance becomes normal• The difference between surviving and feeling safe• Why there's nothing wrong with youIf you've ever found yourself asking:"Why can't I relax?""Why am I always on edge?""Why do I feel responsible for everything?"This episode is for you.🎧 Listen now.And if you're ready to stop carrying this on your own, Discovery to Recovery is designed to help you move from survival mode to feeling steadier, clearer and less alone.Because your loved one's recovery matters.But so does yours.💕If you're thinking: "I know something needs to change, but I don't know where to start."Discovery to Recovery was created for exactly this moment.To help you move from confusion and survival mode to clarity, steadiness and relief.Because you don't need all the answers right now.You just need your next best step. Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here.Want more support and clarity?The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it throughPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you.
95. 95 - I Know Something Needs To Change… I Just Don't Know Where To Start
20:15||Season 3, Ep. 95Learn more about Discovery to Recovery hereYou know something needs to change.You know something isn't working.You know you're exhausted.But when you're living with addiction in a relationship, knowing what to do next can feel impossible.Maybe you're constantly thinking about your loved one's drinking, drug use, gambling, or addictive behaviour.Maybe you're walking on eggshells, trying not to make things worse.Maybe you're lying awake at night wondering:"Am I overreacting?""Is it really that bad?""How much longer do I wait?""What am I supposed to do?"And honestly, when you're living with addiction in your home, it's easy to become stuck between recognising there's a problem and knowing what to do about it.In this episode, Amanda explores one of the most difficult parts of loving someone with addiction:The confusion.The limbo.The emotional exhaustion that comes from trying to understand addiction, trying to help, trying to cope, and trying to carry it all on your own.She shares why so many partners, spouses and family members affected by addiction stay stuck for years, the hidden fear that often stops us seeking support, and why support isn't about being told to leave or stay.It's about finding relief.If you've been feeling overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, trapped in survival mode, or unsure how to move forward when someone you love is struggling with addiction, this episode will help you understand why you're feeling the way you are and what your next best step might be.Because your loved one's recovery matters.But so does yours.💕If you're thinking:"I know something needs to change, but I don't know where to start."Discovery to Recovery was created for exactly this moment.To help you move from confusion and survival mode to clarity, steadiness and relief.Because you don't need all the answers right now.You just need your next best step.Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here.Want more support and clarity?The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction.Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it throughPrivate and confidential. No pressure. Just support.You were never supposed to carry this much for this long.And you deserve to live your life too.And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family.If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own.👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you.
94. 94 - I’m In Limbo: How Long Do I Wait?
21:56||Season 3, Ep. 94What happens when the person you love recognises they have a problem (or maybe they don't)… and nothing feels steady?What happens when you keep hoping things will improve… but your life slowly becomes consumed by waiting?In this deeply honest episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores the emotional limbo so many spouses and family members of people struggling with addiction quietly live in: waiting for sobriety, waiting for stability, waiting for peace, waiting to finally exhale.Amanda opens up about the painful reality of putting life on hold while hoping things will eventually get better - and the emotional exhaustion that comes from tying your wellbeing to someone else’s recovery.If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:• “I’ll be happy when things settle down.”• “Maybe I just need to wait a little longer.”• “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”• “How long do I keep doing this?”…this episode is for you.Because you do not need to figure everything out today.You just need a healthier next step.🎧 If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need to hear these words today.👇 Discovery to RecoveryYou know something has to change but you don't know where to start... This is the first step to getting out of survival mode, and into living your one great life.It is a gentle, practical starting point for spouses and family members who know something needs to change but feel completely overwhelmed about where to begin.👉 Discovery to Recovery is your first exhale. Start here