A Gift For Grief

Welcome to this special milestone episode of A Gift for Grief - Life After Loss.In this 50th episode, I step away from interviews to share something deeply personal, the inner experience that has shaped my own grief journey over the past nine years.This episode explores the ongoing dialogue between two parts of myself: the human mind, which feels the raw pain of loss, and the spiritual mind, which offers a sense of peace, perspective, and continued connection.If you’ve ever felt torn between deep sorrow and moments of calm or meaning, this conversation may resonate with you.In This Episode, I Share:What it’s really like living with grief 9 years after losing my son MatthewThe internal conflict between emotional pain and spiritual understandingWhy grief doesn’t disappear — but life can grow around itHow both heartbreak and healing can exist at the same timeThe importance of allowing all feelings without judgementA comforting perspective on love, memory, and continued connectionConnect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

A Gentle Note: This episode contains discussion of mental health struggles, trauma, and the death of a young person. Please listen with care and seek support if you need it.In today’s episode, I’m joined by Marianne Griffiths, a mother who shares her experience of losing her adult daughter - first through years of separation and struggle, and later through her heartbreaking sudden death in 2019 from SUDEP. SUDEP stands for Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. It refers to the sudden, unexplained death of someone with epilepsy who was otherwise healthy, where no other clear cause is found after investigation.In this deeply moving and important conversation, Marianne shares the story of her daughter, Abi, a young woman who spent much of her life fighting to be understood, supported, and believed.From an early age, Abi faced learning difficulties, mental health challenges, and repeated trauma. Her family spent years navigating education systems, social services, and mental health support in search of the right care. Along the way, there were moments of hope, heartbreak, and resilience.This is a conversation about unconditional love, advocacy, and the urgent need to listen to vulnerable voices before it’s too late.In This Episode, We Explore:Marianne’s journey as a mother navigating complex systemsAbi’s early life and the challenges she facedThe impact of separation when a child is taken into careLiving with ambiguous grief and lossThe reality of grieving twiceAdvocacy within education, social care, and mental health servicesThe importance of being heard, seen, and believedRemembering Abi and the legacy she leaves behindConnect with your host Louise Bates:https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Moving house is one of the most stressful things we can do. When you’ve spent 28 years building a life in one place, leaving becomes even harder - especially after losing a loved one who shared that space with you. As I prepare to leave the home we’ve lived in for nearly three decades, I’ve been reflecting on how our places and possessions quietly hold the stories of our lives. In this episode, I share what it’s like to sort through decades of memories, how difficult it is to let go, and how we begin to decide what we carry with us into the next chapter.Connect with your host Louise Bates:https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

In today’s episode, we explore a form of grief that is so often minimised, misunderstood, or pushed aside: the loss of a beloved pet. I’m joined by Debbie McLeod, known as The Midlife Mystic Mentor. Debbie is a counsellor, hypnotherapist, medium, spiritual guide, and the author of Best Friends Forever: Practical Steps and Wisdom to Ease the Pain of Pet Loss. Her work gently bridges emotional support with spiritual understanding, helping people navigate some of life’s most tender experiences.Together, we dive into why losing a pet can feel so devastating, how to honour that grief, and the deep, spiritual connections many of us feel with our animals. Debbie's book:https://debbiemcleod.co.uk/servicesConnect with Debbie:instagram.com/midlifemysticmentorFacebook - Midlife Mystic Mentorhttps://www.facebook.com/DebbieandMollie/ Connect with your host Louise Bates:https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

In today’s deeply moving episode, I’m joined in the studio by Helen Smith mum to Evelyn, her beautiful daughter who tragically died when she was just seven years old. Evelyn’s death was particularly heartbreaking, because it was something that could have been prevented.Since that unimaginable loss, Helen has been learning to live with both grief, trauma and PTSD and her loss has shaped every part of her life. Yet from that deep heartbreak, Helen has created something truly special; a charity called Evelyn’s Gift, which shares kindness and compassion in Evelyn’s memory. Through this work, Helen has found small moments of light and a sense of purpose.In this episode, Helen opens up about:What life was like before Evelyn diedThe events leading up to her daughter’s death and the devastating realisation that it was avoidableThe long, painful journey of seeking answers through an inquest and civil litigationThe ongoing fight for truth, accountability, and changeHow Evelyn’s Gift was born from grief, and how it continues to spread kindness in Evelyn’s nameWe also talk about the challenges of medical trust and accountability, sharing personal reflections from my own experience with my son Matthew’s illness and the haunting “what ifs” that so many bereaved parents live with.During our conversation, I also highlight the story of Jessica Brady, a 27-year-old engineer whose preventable death inspired ‘Jess’s Rule’, a vital reminder to doctors to take action when patients repeatedly present with the same symptoms.Helen’s courage, honesty, and compassion shine through every word. Her story is not just about loss, it’s about turning pain into purpose, finding meaning through kindness, and keeping her daughter’s spirit alive in the most beautiful way.So grab yourself a cuppa (and maybe a box of tissues) and sit back as Helen shares her powerful story and one that will stay with you long after the episode ends.Connect with Helen through her wonderful charity www.evelynsgift.co.ukConnect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Whether your loss was sudden or expected, the first days and weeks can feel surreal, like the world is still spinning while you’re standing completely still. Louise shares her own honest and tender experience of losing her son Matthew, offering listeners reassurance that every reaction in grief is a normal one.This episode explores:What those first hours and days after a loss can feel likeThe shock, numbness, and disbelief that often protect us in the beginningWhy anticipatory grief doesn’t make the final moment any easierHow emotions in early grief move in waves - sometimes tsunamisThe fog, exhaustion, and confusion of that first weekThe strange push-and-pull of practical tasks in the middle of heartbreakThe loneliness that can appear even when you’re surrounded by peopleThe moment when the world seems to 'move on' while your grief is still rawThe importance of glimmers, those tiny sparks of relief, laughter, or peaceWhy healing isn’t about forgetting, but about growing around your griefThis episode reminds listeners that grief has no timeline.There is no right way to feel. Early grief is not meant to be solved - it is meant to be survived, one breath and one step at a time.Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

In this solo episode, I explore a side of grief that is often overlooked but profoundly important: the way grief shows up in the body.We tend to think of grief as emotional or psychological - but our bodies feel it just as deeply. From exhaustion and sleep changes to physical tension, aches, heaviness, digestive issues, and that sense of being stuck, the body often speaks before the mind can make sense of what’s happening.Drawing on personal experience, therapeutic insight, and the somatic wisdom explored in The Body Keeps the Score, Louise gently explains how grief impacts the nervous system and why these physical symptoms are not signs of weakness, but natural responses to profound loss.In this episode, you’ll hear about:How grief affects the body Stress responses like elevated cortisol, racing heartbeat, and weakened immunity Physical expressions of grief: tightness, heaviness, insomnia, aches, digestion changes Why symptoms like globus sensation (a lump in the throat) can appear during grief How tension, pain, and sensation can reflect emotional states Why the body remembers what the mind tries to manageI lead listeners through a gentle body scan, inviting awareness of breath, tension, and sensation without judgment, without needing to fix anything.Somatic tools that help grief move Gentle yoga for grounding, breath awareness, and emotional softening Breathwork to calm the nervous system and create emotional space Somatic therapy to help release stuck grief Everyday movement, as simple as walking or swaying, to help your body process lossI share my own personal experience of using EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and EMDR therapy.Somatic tools that help to regulate the nervous system, release stuck emotion, and reconnect with a sense of inner safety.Recommended Reading:The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkConnect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

In this episode, I speak with Vanessa May, a London-based writer, holistic grief coach, and certified grief educator.As a bereaved mother and widow, Vanessa has endured more loss than most could imagine in one lifetime, yet she’s transformed her pain into purpose.After losing her son Harry, her husband Anthony, and her father in quick succession, Vanessa dedicated her life to helping others navigate the landscape of grief.Known for her raw honesty, compassion, and wisdom, Vanessa embodies the 'wounded healer', reminding us that grief isn’t something to get over, it’s something we learn to live alongside.This episode dives deep into the spiritual beliefs that continue to support her, including soul contracts and signs from the other side.Books:Finding Meaning by David KesslerJourney of Souls by Michael NewtonIt's OK That You're Not OK by Megan DevineGroups:The Compassionate Friends: https://www.tcf.org.uk/professional/Therapy:Havening: https://www.havening.org/EMDR Eye Movement Desensitisation ReprocessingBreath WorkYoga for griefConnect with Vanessa:Author website: https://www.vanessamay.co.uk/Holistic Grief Coaching: https://wellbeingandnutrition.co.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/may.wellbeing.griefsupport/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/holisticgriefsupportWhen Grief Takes Everything: A Survival Guide To Devastating Loss:https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1068196106/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FTjfx4BGEGh5OtMwWsPp3QyzSIQ13pdbJDMjYetAwlXGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.oR8DgquK--qkSNuoU9m646vmb259bZaIqyEVSJyWt8c&qid=1760187628&sr=1-1Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebatesIf this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.